Impossible Year

Hello, it's me. I haven't written on here lately. It's been 4 months since I stepped back from Facebook, and honestly, I haven't missed it. I've been able to keep up with some of you on Instagram, but I don't spend a whole lot of time there, either. I've given you the highlights on Facebook; about 2-3 posts a month. I thought I'd tell you a little more about what I've been up to and try to give a summary of this impossible year.

ICYMI, I did a mental face-plant at the beginning of April, which resulted in months of counseling and a cocktail of meds for depression. I am in a much better place, but there are still some challenges, and the hardest months are yet to come. As I've shared numerous times, Winter is not at all good to me. As an extra boost, I purchased a blue-light therapy box. I use this every morning for about an hour, and on gloomy days, I bring it to work and sit in front of it during my 30-minute lunch break. I believe it has made a difference, but this could just be a placebo effect.

Work has been...complicated. Around the same time I was falling apart mentally, there was a drama playing out in the greenhouse. The job that I loved was becoming a place that I dreaded being every day. I realize that I've been pretty vague about the details, and unfortunately, I still don't think I can clarify anything. All I can say is that the drama has dissipated, and the working environment has become mostly pleasant once again. There have been significant changes this year that have both terrified and validated me. I've put in more hours than I have any year prior, and it looks like that trend will continue. I normally drop down to one day a week in January and February, but in 2019, I will be working 4 days a week during the winter.

Goodbye, greenhouse, until next Spring

Tim is watching his company (Bootstrap Architecture and Construction) grow by leaps and bounds. I know a lot of y'all are ready to build a wall around Nashville to keep our city from becoming even more overpopulated than it already is, but more people moving here has worked out pretty good for us. I try to keep this in mind when I'm fighting traffic during my 45 minute commute to and from work every day. 2019 will mark 10 years since Tim's job was downsized and he went out on his own. I certainly didn't see him co-owning such a successful business that scary winter day in January 2009.

 

The kids are great. Reagan is in her senior year of high school, and thankfully it's been a MUCH easier year (on ALL of us) than junior year. She hasn't decided on her post-graduation plans, and she's pretty stressed about this being the topic of every conversation she has with an adult. She wants to study film production, but hasn't decided whether she wants to do a year or two at community college first, or enroll in a 4-year program next Fall. If she goes to an out-of-town school, she doesn't want to go more than 2-3 hours away. Pierce continues to learn valuable life skills in the Transition Program at Brentwood High. He is bussed from school to a job at Hampton Inn 3 days a week for a 4-hour shift. We are slowly getting our brains around all of the legal details of parenting an adult with autism. We've dropped the ball a couple of times, but we are still working towards conservatorship.

Tim and I have kept up a weekly date night schedule. To shake us out of our usual routine of dinner at one of our three favorite dinner spots, walking around Barnes and Noble for an hour, Jeni's Ice Cream, and then home, I was inspired to plan our date nights around the alphabet. I started this during the summer and we're already up to Z. I'll write another post when we've marked that one off the list and give you the run-down of our ABCs Of Dating. We didn't take a family vacation this year. Instead, we spent a week together at Otter Creek Christian Camp. Oh that every Sunday could be like worship at camp. Tim and I have taken a couple of long weekend trips down south. In July, we went to Miramar Beach, where we just laid on the beach reading and doing hardly anything. Just a couple weeks ago, we celebrated our 25th anniversary with a trip to Miami. We had a FABULOUS time. There's so much to do and see. I'm going to start playing the lottery so I can have a winter home down there.

Otter Creek Christian Camp 2018

So besides work, what have I been up to? Well, I've been reading A LOT. I figured out how to listen to audiobooks through our library. During the slow months in summer and late fall, I can listen to books while I'm working and on my commute. In 2018, I read 140 books. Some of you book nerds out there have differing standards of what qualifies as a book. I have counted audiobooks and graphic novels, because it's MY reading list. Y'all don't have to like it.

Not sure why one count says 139 and another says 140...

Reading so many books has turned that little writing itch of mine into a full-body rash that is desperate to be scratched. For the last 7 weeks, I have been getting up at 5AM to write before I leave for work. If you had told me a year ago that I'd be looking forward to getting up at the butt-crack of dawn every day, I'd have laughed in your face. Never in all my life have I wanted to get up so early; not for ANY reason. What am I writing, you may ask? All of the emotions and experiences I've been storing in my brain for the last 44 years, while I can still remember them. What will I do with all this writing? I don't know. It's very likely that the vast majority of my words will never see the light of day. I don't know that I'll ever be able to subject the outpouring of my soul to public critique. Now that I've shared with all of you that I'm writing, please don't ask me to read any of it to you. If you're meant to see what I've written, you will, but only when I'm good and ready to share it.

I am so thankful for the support I've received this year from family and friends. Without you, I wouldn't be here writing this year-in-review blog post. I very seriously mean it. I wish you all great physical and mental health in 2019.