This Isn't Goodbye

A friend shared a post recently that inspired her to quit Facebook. Never have I read more compelling reasoning. I've shared the screenshot that I took; I have no knowledge about the origin of this post.   

Ten years ago, Facebook seemed to be an awesome way for us introverts to converse and reconnect without having to be in the same room with so many people at once. But you know what? Even though their bodies aren't in my space, their voices are. These voices are daily telling me what kind of person I should be. They tell me to get angry about this, be sad about that, give money to or care about this cause, vote for that person (you're an idiot if you don't), try this weight loss/facial care/kitchen/craft product, what TV shows I SHOULD NOT miss, copy and paste if you REALLY love Jesus/military/spouse/son or daughter/mom or dad, what celebrity/store/product we should boycott, mommy guilt for all the things I'm not doing or should be doing better as a parent. For the last couple of years, I've slowly become more detached from real life communion with friends, sometimes intentionally, sometimes not. I thought I could cope by staying in touch virtually with the people I used to spend time with in person. I so desperately miss the belly-laughs with friends and heartfelt discussions. How about instead of posting something on each other's timelines or laughing together over some funny YouTube video, we hang out face to face? The older I get, the harder it is for me to stay in personal contact with people I don't see on a daily basis. I want, I NEED more meaningful friendships than the casual Facebook variety.  

Since my diagnosis of depression, I've learned just how limited my energy is, and that I need to use the little I have stored up more wisely. As I've said before, I've been spending less and less time on Facebook, even though I continue to post. I've turned off notifications on my phone, but I check my likes and comments a few times a day, only spending a total of 10-15 minutes scrolling through my newsfeed. I've already managed to use the time that I would've wasted on my phone or computer to read...24 books so far in 2018. So many people tell me how much they appreciate my posts, and that they like to check in on the progress of my recovery. I've felt that I had a responsibility to speak out about mental illness and help remove the stigma that is attached to depression. However, I'm not sure Facebook is the best way to continue doing this. Most therapists will tell you that if you're battling depression, anxiety, or other mental illness, spending time on Facebook or other social media platforms are not healthy. I'm learning in therapy that to put an end to the unnecessary obligation I feel and the self deprecating inner dialogue, I need to stop saying, "I should be doing...". I'm tired of trying to please others and live up to their expectations. I've decided I will begin phasing out my time on Facebook. I will still be posting on Instagram, so I hope you'll follow me here. I intend to save up all those happy or silly little posts that would've gone on Facebook and instead make an effort to write them up in somewhat regular blog posts. 

I love that y'all love the things I say and pictures I share. A small part of me has continued to post on Facebook to receive validation that I'm the funny, positive, inspiring person that I think I can be at times. It'll be difficult not to seek the praise of others, but I'm looking forward to finding better uses of my energy and time. If ever you want to get together for some face-time instead of screen-time, hit me up!