The following information was copied from Autismspeaks.org:
Autism is a general term used to describe a group of complex developmental brain disorders known as Pervasive Developmental Disorders (PDD). Autism affects the way a child perceives the world and makes communication and social interaction difficult. Today, it is estimated that one in every 110 children is diagnosed with autism, making it more common than childhood cancer, juvenile diabetes and pediatric AIDS combined.This month, I would like to tell you more about our son, Pierce, and our experiences with raising an autistic child. I wanted to start this series by making you more aware of autistic children all around you. There are a lot of misunderstandings about this disorder. Maybe when you hear the word "autism", the first thing you think about is the movie "Rain Man". Let me tell you that not all autistic people are savants, and not all savants are autistic. Pierce does have an obsession with computers, but I have yet to see him display computer skills that would make him a savant. Some people hear "autism" and think "retarded". While some people with autism are mentally retarded, some are of average intelligence. Pierce has an IQ in the normal range. It's not necessary to speak to an autistic person as if they were five years old. They also aren't deaf, so there's no need to shout at them. When you want to communicate with an autistic person, you just need to make sure you have their undivided attention. Eye contact is very difficult for most people with autism, so don't feel offended if they won't look at you while you're speaking. I'm telling you these things, because I feel like Pierce and others like him are so misunderstood.
Too many times, autistic kids are considered rude or bratty. I had a confrontation with a mom on the playground last summer that felt this way about Pierce. She was sitting on the steps for the slide, and Pierce wanted to get by. Communicating with other people is something he just doesn't understand. To him, there was a slide and a person blocking the steps leading to it. He pushed his way past her without saying anything. This mom began yelling at him and then yelling for me. When she found me, she told me how rude my son had just been to her. I calmly (let me tell you, remaining calm took every ounce of strength in my body!) explained that Pierce was autistic and that he has trouble communicating in social situations. She then turned about 20 different shades of red and apologized profusely, but the damage was already done. I found Pierce and explained that when someone is in the way, he needs to say "Excuse me" if he wants to get by. I should have had him apologize to this lady, but I was so flustered, I instead gathered the kids and went home. I'm telling you this story to make you stop and think when you encounter a child that you think is rude or being a brat. Not that there aren't kids out there that could use some stronger parenting, but that isn't always the case. Maybe that kid doesn't need a beating. Maybe their parents aren't failing at their job. Perhaps that kid that's being rude honestly doesn't know how to communicate with you. Perhaps that kid that's throwing the mother of all tantrums in the grocery store is completely overwhelmed by the crowds, noise, and bright lighting, and he just wants to get away from it all. The mom or dad that is dealing with this child desperately needs your look of empathy not disdain. If you don't understand the ways that autism affects a person, I encourage you to do some research. Autism Speaks has a website with lots of useful information. As autism becomes more prevalent in our society, you will encounter more and more kids like my son. Please learn how to interact with them, and stop criticizing them and their parents. We are doing the best we can.
Many people around us are very understanding. In the weeks to come, I want to share some of our positive experiences. I hope that by sharing this part of my life I can help you reach out to people like Pierce.
Thanks for this, Melissa. I'm looking forward to reading more of these to give me more insight into interacting with Pierce as I hope we will continue to do.
ReplyDeleteI'm also looking forward to the next church one too. :-)