And That's The Way It Is

Today, Pierce is in the fifth grade, and still in mainstream classrooms for most of the day. An aide helps him keep up with all of the assignments and class changes typical of middle school. His performance in most subjects is on a fifth grade level, with the exception of reading and language. He reads on a first grade level, mainly due to his lack of comprehension. He doesn't have what you would call friends, but he is loved by peers and adults at both school and church. He still receives speech therapy, because conversation is a skill he does not grasp. Pierce uses a lot of what is called echolalia. He is constantly (and I do mean CONSTANTLY) quoting lines from movies, TV shows, commercials or songs on the radio. He becomes very frustrated when his routine is interrupted. He thrives on a consistent schedule. Pierce continues to be bothered by loud noises, especially crying or screaming children. He tries to run from noisy situations, and since he is now taller than me, trying to hold on to him when he is intent on running away in public has become nearly impossible. We avoid taking him shopping, because it really seems to stress him. We do eat out quite frequently, and the whole family is acutely aware of any crying kids in the vicinity and are prepared to calm Pierce the instant he begins to freak out. You will usually see him with earplugs in his ears when we are at church or in other public places. I have a ziploc bag full of them in my purse. He is pretty clueless about what to do in most social situations. I've already noted that eye contact is difficult for him. He's getting better with greetings, but we still have to prompt him to say "hello" or "goodbye". He walks around in his own little world, so he isn't always aware of other people around him. He bumps into people, and doesn't always remember to say "excuse me" or "I'm sorry". Modesty is an issue that we are always addressing. For example, it doesn't occur to him that dropping your pants in the hallway on the way to the bathroom at school is inappropriate. Poor Reagan won't be surprised by the male anatomy on her wedding night as Pierce streaks through the house naked quite often. Of course, I grew up with only a sister, so this could just be a typical boy thing! Hygiene has not been much of an issue so far, but he is going through puberty. I'm sure we'll have to stay on him pretty soon about remembering things like showering and deodorant.

Most of the time, Pierce is a joyful and affectionate child. He loves giving hugs. His laughter is contagious. He is completely obsessed with computers. Wherever we are, if Pierce goes missing, we know to look for the nearest computer and there he will be. We have our computers at home password protected, or else Pierce would be on the computer at all hours of the night while the rest of the house is sleeping. He has the most uncanny sense of balance; I tell everyone that he has cat-like reflexes. Tim and I, as well as many friends and family, can tell you stories of times he's been precariously perched on a ledge, in a tree, etc., but he always lands on his feet. He loves Veggie Tales, but he refuses to watch the videos on TV anymore. He will, however, watch them on the computer. That's one of those weird rules of his that really has no explanation. He still loves to play with the toys and read the books. He also loves all of the Disney Pixar movies.

Though he and Reagan got off to a rough start, they now have a great relationship. Reagan can still occasionally push Pierce's buttons, but I know how much he loves her. He needs to know where she is at all times. They play together and rarely fight. I think the really cool thing is that Reagan has actually stepped into the role of the older sibling. She is quite protective of him. When they were younger, she would speak for him if they encountered a new kid on the playground and explain that Pierce was different than other kids. She makes a conscious effort to avoid things that she knows will upset Pierce (most of the time). She initiates games of chase or hide and seek with him. Reagan is an absolute jewel. God knew that with all of the challenges that Pierce brings us we needed our second child to have a quiet, gentle spirit. She's not perfect; there are still those moments when she tests her boundaries. For the most part, though, she is such a happy, compliant child.

As I said before, this is not the path that I would have chosen, but our experiences raising an autistic child have taught us things we may never have learned otherwise. Pierce is an incredible kid, and I'm so very blessed to be his mom.