In a few short months, I will be 46. It seems that time moves incrementally faster as I age. I’ve crested the hill of my mid-forties and I feel like I’m on a rollercoaster zipping downhill towards 50. I recently read I Miss You When I Blink, which is FABULOUS, BTW. The author, Mary Laura Philpott, quotes Dani Shapiro who quotes Grace Paley (whew): "The years between ages fifty and eighty go by so fast they feel less like minutes, more like seconds." I had a cracked tooth pulled last week which makes me think dentures are only a matter of time, and maybe it's not too soon to start researching assisted living facilities. I never wanted to be one of those women that begrudgingly enters old age kicking and screaming with every year and yet, when I think about turning 50, I break into a cold sweat. The last 2 birthdays with a zero have been hard to swallow. The older I get, the more things I have to add to my “Murtaugh List”. Side-note- In case you don’t know your ‘80s movies, Danny Glover’s character in Lethal Weapon, Roger Murtaugh, has a catchphrase throughout the movie: “I’m too old for this sh*t”. I find myself saying this on a regular basis. I don’t feel any sort of midlife crisis nor do I regret missed opportunities over the last 46ish years…except maybe one.
I took piano lessons between the ages of 6 and 14. Those last 2 or 3 years, I became less and less enthused. Once I started marching band in high school, there was no longer time to work in the weekly lessons, so I quite happily dropped piano from my schedule. Only when I became an adult did I wish I’d stuck with it. I acquired the family piano thinking maybe one day I’d pick it up again, but once I became a mom, I learned how little time there was to do something just for me. Piano became something to do once the kids were older. I inherited my grandmother’s baby grand a few years ago, and I thought, “This it it! I’ll finally take lessons again!” I called a reputable piano maintenance and repair company over to tune it, and the technician gave me a grim assessment. The piano needed new strings but even worse, the soundboard was cracked. I’d be looking at a repair bill of around $10,000. My piano dreams died once again.
A couple weeks ago, I had a random thought about my 50th birthday and how far away it was. It turns out that July 2020 is 50 months away from the big 5-0. I want to make peace with aging instead of fighting or dreading it. I don’t want to mourn my 20s, 30s, and 40s. I want reasons to look forward to turning 50. I decided to compile a list of things I’d like to accomplish. I don’t want homework, so I’m not adding “Try 50 new recipes” (ICYMI, I hate to cook), “Read 50 classics” (life is too short to slog through Moby Dick), or “Run 50 miles” (If you see me running, you’d better run, too, because obviously something is chasing me.). I also want to keep this realistic and feasible, so I’m not adding “See all 50 states”; something I wouldn’t be able to do while working full time. I want to have fun, but I also want to learn, grow, and give back. The first item on my “50 Before 50” list: Learn 50 songs on the piano. I’ve purchased a keyboard (A Yamaha P71 with weighted keys and a sustain pedal). I’ve kept all of my old theory and repertoire books, and there are lots of resources on YouTube. The first few songs may be as simple as Chopsticks, but I hope to tackle more challenging pieces within the next couple of years.
So far, I’ve only come up with a list of 25 things to accomplish before my 50th birthday. I have a whole month to finalize the list before I begin my challenge. Pinterest hasn’t been super helpful. It seems like every woman’s list has “Achieve my goal weight” or “Host a dinner party every month”…yeah, I’m gonna pass on those. I’d love to hear ideas or suggestions! I’ll share my 50 Before 50 list next month.
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