Things That Made Me Happy Today...

Things that made me happy today:

• Rearranging a couple of kitchen cabinets that allowed space for stuff that's been cluttering our counters
• Sunshine!
• The lady in the chair next to me at the salon that was doing a crossword puzzle and enlisted the help of everyone around her to solve it
• The most relaxing eyebrow wax I've ever had. Seriously, y'all. I almost dozed off.
• Riding with the windows down and blaring old-school rock from Rush, Queen, and Yes.
• Watching Pierce try on a jacket and pick out the vest and tie he wants to wear with his tux at next weekend's Best Buddies Prom
• Laughing at old SnapChat videos that Reagan has saved on her phone
• Reagan wanted to show us her documentary assignment for her broadcasting class (she did it on the marching band's trip to Pearl Harbor a couple months ago) and then she lit up when we told her how much we loved it and how great we thought it was
• A new Fixer Upper
• A long, hot shower, with the lights dimmed
• Reading the beautifully illustrated book, How To Be A Wildflower, in bed
• Kissing my husband goodnight

Most of you know what a struggle winter is for me. I made all these goals in the hopes that I'd stay busy and keep depression at bay. But, it's just not working. Along with my tendency for depression, I'm also a VERY anxious person. The bombardment of news about current events from every place, every person, every TV, every computer, every radio, is doing nothing but feeding this tendency in me to FREAK OUT ABOUT EVERYTHING, until I feel like I can barely keep my head above water. I can't do this anymore.

One of my goals for 2017 was to reclaim my joy. It's been so very difficult to find lately, and when I do find it, I can't seem to hold onto it for any length of time. I decided today that I'm going to try an experiment for the month of February. Instead of just trying not to focus on the things that stressed me out or caused me to complain each day, I'm going to try to write down all the things that made me happy that day. And not just by using my note-taking app on my phone, but actually writing it down on paper, maybe in a pretty journal.

I feel like the world is trying to tear me apart, and I need something physical to grasp onto. Because y'all, let me tell ya, there was some crap today. There were things I dreaded, things I should've done but put off, things that REALLY pissed me off and made me angry with people I love, things that scared the snot out of me (anyone else teaching their teenager to drive?!). My hope is that taking some time each day to put pen to paper and remind myself of all those glimpses of joy, however fleeting, will be one of those life rafts that will keep me afloat when I feel like I'm sinking. I am doing this for ME, but I can certainly share some of these happy thoughts for those of you, like me, that are ready to stop the world and get off. I KNOW I'm not alone; every day, I see another Facebook post about how tired someone is of the political banter and the desire to see more pictures of what you had for dinner or your cute baby instead of sparring over what's happening in government. So, if telling y'all about the little mundane things that made me smile might in turn brighten someone else's day, then I might make these lists public every now and then.