Friday, November 20, 2015

Thank You For Being A Friend

I joined Facebook seven years ago. It seemed like a fun community, an easy way to reconnect with old high school friends, and a way to stay in touch with family far away. It has brought me much joy and laughter over the years. I love seeing pictures: of your children, places you've been, life events. I enjoy hearing about your blessings, your funny life stories. I REALLY love the funny memes and videos, especially those involving cats. How can cats be so annoying and yet so freakin hilarious? I miss the days of flair. Anyone remember that? On your profile was a virtual bulletin board where you could post little pictures of all the stuff that made you happy: coffee, movie/book/tv quotes, animal pictures, favorite sayings, scriptures, etc.. I have opined about Facebook before, and like I've said, when Facebook is good, it is really good...but when it's not, it is soul crushing.

I have contemplated giving it up before. There have been at least 2 occasions when I've been misinterpreted and couldn't handle the criticism, so I walked away for a short time, but my Facebook obsession always brought me back. I've watched some of you give up Facebook for Lent and thought, "I should do that", but then I always find some reason to justify why I can't. The benefits and joy I get from Facebook have (until now) seemed to outweigh all of its annoyances. Truthfully, with the app on my phone and always accessible, I have a rather serious addiction to knowing what is going on in your lives at all times, afraid I might miss something important. The hours I've wasted scrolling through Facebook is OBSCENE. 

Lately, the joy has begun to fade. Pictures of children and anecdotes about your lives have been overshadowed by political memes. Somewhere along the line, we decided that Facebook was a good place to rant about all that is wrong with government, religion, and society, instead of being a light of hope amongst all of this darkness. I say "we", because try as I might to stay positive, I'm guilty of saying and sharing things that have been quite negative, and making statements about my political beliefs. These days, every time I get on Facebook, I die just a little bit inside. Oh, I can still find pictures of children and cat videos, but I have to dig through all of the political posts to find them. Lately, I've begun to feel that it's not worth the search. Facebook just isn't much fun anymore. I've tried to "unfollow" those that are so full of negativity, but it only makes things marginally better...and the presidential election is still a year away. Look, you have a right to say whatever you want to say. But I don't want to know who you're voting for and why you think their opposing political party (and anyone who supports them) is a bunch of morons. I don't want to know how distraught you are about the Supreme Court's ruling on marriage. I don't want to know how appalled you are by the latest celebrity scandal. TELL ME SOMETHING GOOD. Tell me who or what inspires you. Tell me about something beautiful you've seen or heard. Tell me something incredible that's happened to you lately. Give me something to cling to when I feel those dark days creeping in on me. Don't feed me doom and gloom. Sometimes as I scroll through Facebook, the Hee Haw skit and song "Gloom, despair, and agony on me" pops into my head. Stop sucking the joy out of this community. And I realize that so very few people can be upbeat and positive ALL of the time (certainly not me); that's not what I'm seeking. I speak sarcasm fluently. It's how I try to get a laugh, but most times, it comes across as negative and ungrateful. Life happens; we get knocked down and feel deserving of a pity party. But maybe instead of finding someone/thing to blame for our struggles, we could instead ask people to help us back up and then do the next right thing. Prayer is a necessary element of community with one another. We need to edify and encourage each other more, instead of tearing each other down. Don't drag others into your pit of despair. We live in a world full of people, living day to day, desperate for a reason to keep going, needing hope and light. On this website where they come to take a break from life for a while, can we stop telling them that the sky is falling and confirming their belief that humanity is lost? Can't we leave all of the horrible in this world to the 24/7 fear-mongering news networks and just keep Facebook as a fun space?

I have seen family and friends rip each other to shreds over disagreements that began on Facebook. Our need to be right, to be liked, and to be heard has overshadowed our need for relationship and community. But trying to be right all of the time is EXHAUSTING. So until a social media outlet comes along that consists of nothing but joy and hope and LOVE, I'm out. At least for 2016. That goes for Twitter as well. Maybe, with all of the time I'm saving by staying off of Facebook, I will blog more. If you're really interested in what I have to say, you'll still be able to know about all of the crazy stuff in my brain. I will keep posting on Instagram. It hasn't been taken over by the Debbie Downers and Negative Nellys YET. So far, it's still mostly babies, puppies, sunsets, and food pictures over there. If you're on Instagram, follow me at Creativemelmac, and let me know your account name. I'm not deleting my Facebook account. My chorus has a private group page where we post things that are inspirational and uplifting...and nerdy musical stuff that no one else thinks is funny. I may still get tagged in pictures, so you'll be able to see those. I will miss all of your funny posts; some of you are pretty stinkin' hilarious. To those of you that have told me over the years that you think my posts are funny and something you look forward to seeing...bless your little hearts. And thank you. Many of you will tell me that I should stick around and keep posting, that I shouldn't let all the negative people of Facebook win. You're sweet, but no. I'm tired of trying to make a difference here. I am forever grateful for all of my prayer warriors that have gotten my family through numerous health crises and encouraged us when my sister passed away last year. To my friends: if you want to stay in touch, message me...especially if you have something funny you think I should see. Or here's an idea: let's interact face to face. Have coffee. Meet for lunch. To all of my family: surely we can figure out another way to stay connected. Maybe we need a private FB page (no negativity allowed!).

The world needs more people professing what they are for instead of yelling about what they are against. If you're as frustrated as I am, why don't we jump ship together? We could start a whole new online community that doesn't tolerate the crap you can easily get from news websites. Until then, be excellent to each other. Now to do all of those things I could've been doing during the hours I've wasted on Facebook...

2 comments:

  1. As usual, a wonderful piece of work. Reminds me of my younger days. You are speaking for me, Melissa, and I thank you for that. God bless you,
    Emily McKay Whitesell

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