Winter Sabbatical 2021: Week 3

It’s hard to fathom that I’ve been here 3 weeks already. Though my only goal for this trip is to avoid seasonal depression, I still feel guilt on those days I do nothing but read or make playlists on Apple Music. I turned on the TV for the first time last weekend to binge season 4 of The Crown, which shocked my AirBNB manager. She asked, “What have you been doing this whole time…reading?” It just so happens I’ve finished 9 books since I arrived:

The Family Upstairs by Lisa Jewell

Forgiving What You Can’t Forget by Lysa Terkeurst

A Promised Land by Barack Obama

This Tender Land by William Kent Krueger

Don't Overthink It by Anne Bogel

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by JK Rowling (which I’d already read once before)

Murder on the Orient Express by Agatha Christie

A Raisin in the Sun by Lorraine Hansberry

Vegetable Gardening in the Southeast by Ira Wallace

I’m currently reading Willa’s Grove by Laura Munson, Ornamental Grasses of the Southeast by Peter Loewer, and an advance copy of The Folly of Hunting by my friend and coworker Adam Chapman.

Monday was an exciting day for me. When I walked on the beach that morning, I crossed paths with a woman I’ve seen in passing. In fact, she looked like one of the women that peeked in my window several days ago. Instead of the usual “Buenas Dias” I usually exchange with others, she greeted me with “Hello.” I was thrilled to have a conversation in English! She saw me searching for sea glass and told me that it was hard to find this year. Having never found sea glass on any of the public beaches I’ve been to in the states, I consider finding 4-5 pieces a day to be an abundance. We chatted briefly before continuing on our walks. 

Later that morning, I took a trip to the Farmer’s Market in Chuburna. I’d been stressing that morning, wondering if my Spanish was good enough to converse with the vendors. Getting there and back was a combination of shuttles, walking, and a motorbike taxi. As I arrived, the only people I saw outside were caucasian. Inside, none of the vendors were Mexican. Their signs were written in English, and everyone was speaking English. They must be part of the growing expat community in this area. There were soups, casseroles, baked goods, barbecued meats, and more. I blew every bit of cash I had on pierogis, cashew chicken, pulled pork, sourdough bread, brownies, and a small key lime pie. I’ve never been so excited to see American food! I will be making this part of my Monday routine for the duration of my stay. 

The vision of my memoir is becoming a little clearer. I never wanted to write a book about autism, because I don’t think the world really needs yet another book in this oversaturated market. What can I say that hasn’t already been said? But when I look at all I’ve written, the stories about Pierce and how his autism has shaped every aspect of my life seem to work best together. They’re certainly the least controversial stories about my life and thus the safest to publish. I’ve begun researching literary agents and publishing companies. It would be far easier to self-publish, and definitely the quickest way to get a finished product. It never hurts to explore all of my options, though.

Tim will be here in 7 days! I may not get a blog post up next Friday, but I’ll tell you about our visit shortly thereafter.

Winter Sabbatical 2021: Week 2

It’s sunny and beautiful as I write, which I appreciate even more than usual. Tuesday and Wednesday were gray, windy, and rainy. After staying cooped up inside for 2 days, I savored my walk on the beach Thursday. In 2 weeks time, I’ve acquired a fine collection of sea glass. My days are uneventful. Every morning, I open my kitchen windows and the sliding glass doors to the back patio. It’s a way to feel like I’m outside while I’m writing/editing. The temperatures are mild enough that I can stay cool from the cross-breeze alone. The sounds of the ocean and boats are a pleasant soundtrack. I see the maintenance man, an older gentleman, outside my window everyday, and Manuel always greets me with joy and enthusiasm. This street is a mixture of renovated beach homes and dilapidated structures waiting to be loved. I’ve had a couple of interesting encounters with some curious passers-by. As I was washing dishes one day, a car stopped and 2 women got out. One of them asked me something in Spanish, of course, and I had to explain that my Spanish isn’t great. Fortunately, one woman spoke some English, and she asked if the house was available to rent. I’d forgotten about the sign out front with a phone number for rental inquiries. I told her I was here until March. Another day, I was writing at the dining room table, when I heard voices (in English this time) coming from my front porch. I looked over just as 2 women and a young girl peeked into my windows. I think because I don’t have a car out front, they must’ve assumed no one was home. They were surprised to see me and embarrassed to be caught. We exchanged hellos before they scurried away. 

Last weekend, I picked up my first stack of warm and fresh corn tortillas. The aroma was sweet and comforting, and I wondered if anyone has thought to make a Corn Tortilla candle? I’ve made a couple of authentic dishes that I’m proud of. Last Sunday, I made huevos motuleños. I combined elements from 2 recipes I found on Pinterest (here and here) to get as close as possible to the version I had at the cafe. I was quite pleased with the results and will definitely make it again. On Monday, I made enchiladas verdes. I’d considered using a jarred sauce, but in the end I decided to try a homemade one using this recipe. There’s a definite learning curve to this oven. Now that I’ve figured out what I’m doing, my enchiladas will be much better next time. For my first go, the sauce was tangy and the corn tortillas were sweet. It’s obviously more work to make my own sauce, but I happen to have some free time. I’ve also made copious amounts of guacamole. I’m running out of ways to make meat, rice, and beans interesting. There’s a limited variety of spices here, most of them being suited to Mexican dishes. It’s difficult to make many other types of cuisine. I’ll have to get creative. 

I’ve done a little writing, keeping a daily journal of my time here. On Monday I began editing some of the material I’ve written for my one-of-these-days memoir. I’ve written loads of stories, but they can’t or shouldn’t all be published. I need to decide which stories work best together to make a cohesive book.  

There is a farmer’s market close by every Monday, so I plan to check that out next week. I’d love to see some of the Mayan ruins and cenotes (natural swimming pools in caves or sinkholes) in the area. This morning, I looked at some tours on the AirBNB app. There’s a few agencies listed in the welcome book for this house as well. I’ve contacted one to find out if they’re even doing tours right now; waiting to hear back. I’m a little intimidated by the thought of going alone, so I may wait until Tim’s visit in 2 weeks. I can’t wait to see him again. I have nothing more to report here, so adios until next week!

Winter Sabbatical 2021: Week 1

So, has anything interesting happened since I left? In my efforts to disconnect and find some peace, I had been staying away from social media and news sites. But since Reagan texted me on Wednesday, I’ve been doom-scrolling on Twitter and I hate myself for it. I won’t go into all of the emotions I’ve had over the last 48 hours. But when I woke up Thursday morning, I was greeted with an ocean so still, calm, and peaceful, I spent most of the day outside, trying to breathe it all in, willing it to consume my soul. It is becoming easier to step away from my phone.

I can’t believe I’ve been here a whole week already! I’ve had a couple of hiccups, but I love it out here. I can barely pull my eyes away from the ocean. Some mornings it’s just me with my coffee and the pelicans diving for their breakfasts. Other mornings, the locals are scavenging for conch and other shellfish. Every evening, I comb “my” little stretch of beach in search of sea glass, and I never walk away empty-handed.

I’ve only ventured out 3 times, so I haven’t experienced much of the local culture. On Saturday, I walked 1.5 miles to Cafe France, a lovely breakfast place Tim and I discovered during our reconnaissance mission last July. The same waitress greeted me; on the 3 visits I’ve made, I’ve never seen this young lady without a beaming smile. The huevos motuleños are fabulous. It took a real effort to stop myself from cleaning the plate, since I knew I had a 1.5 mile trek back to the house after breakfast. I have looked up a recipe or two for this dish, and I plan to attempt one of them this weekend. On Sunday, I walked another 1.5 miles to Costa Azul, also a restaurant Tim and I enjoyed last summer. Their camarones al coco (coconut shrimp) was just as delicious as it was in my memory. Also on Sunday, I took my first solo shuttle ride into Progresso for groceries (easy-peasy). At Bodega, I managed to fill a grocery cart, and I worried a little about how I was going to lug all of it home on a shuttle, as catching one back to Chelem from this location proved rather difficult for Tim and I last time. Fortunately, a line of taxis sat outside the exit, and I was escorted over to one right away. It cost a good bit more than the shuttle (though the US equivalent was only $4), but the hassle it saved me was well worth the extra money. My cab driver spoke a little English, which saved me from butchering the directions in Spanish. 

My one big hiccup was a 24-hour power outage. For several hours, I had one working outlet, thanks to a neighbor that allowed me to hook 4 connected extension cords to his house, so the food in my fridge didn’t spoil and I could keep my cellphone charged. As I am in a tiny rural Mexican town, the power company lacks the efficiency of NES, so it took a full day for them to get to me. I was fortunate to have mild temperatures, so I was able to maintain a good cross-breeze indoors with the windows open. Otherwise, I have had good WiFi. I’ve even been able to do a couple virtual workouts with my B.Fab crew! The house is secure. In fact, I set the alarm off when I opened the sliding glass door one morning before deactivating the system. Coffee was a formality that morning, as I was quite awake without the caffeine.

I struggled with whether or not to share my Mexico stories or pictures of the ocean while the majority of you are in coats and scarves. For most of my life, there were people who made me feel guilty for any good fortune I happened to inherit. This in turn made me apologize more than necessary, keep things to myself to prevent any jealousy, and feel terrible for flaunting. But my 40s have taught me that it is high time I stop worrying how I’m perceived. There are many people in my life who want to share in my joy, and it is for you I write this and post my pictures. Thank you, and I’ll check in with you next week!

The Final Countdown

My flight to Mexico leaves in less than 36 hours, and yes, I am excited. I am also in FULL CATASTROPHIZING FREAKOUT MODE. My brain is scrolling through every worst case scenario it can imagine. I already hate flying, and the plane from Miami to Merida is much smaller than I’m used to. I think one of the worst aspects of flying for me is the total lack of control I have over travel. Security could take forever, flights could be delayed, my luggage is being handled by strangers and it may or may not make it onto the right plane. I don’t get to choose my seat mate, and I can’t move if I don’t like said seat mate. I can’t control the lights, sounds, or temperature the way I can in the car. I can’t pull over for a snack break or to stretch my legs. You get the picture. I’ve been packing for days, and I’m already paralyzed by the WHAT AM I FORGETTING? panic. Usually I can tell myself, “It’s ok. You can buy what you forget once you get there.” But Mexico’s Walmarts are WAY different than Nashville’s (duh). There’s a whole lot of stuff I won’t be able to find in their supermercados. 

I know, I know. No one wants to hear any complaints from me about taking 2 months off to be a beach bum. I’m not looking for hand-holding or comments like, “Relax! You’ll be fine!”, because when in the history of ever has telling an anxious person to “just relax” been an effective method of calming them down? NEVER. Some of you are worried about little ol me traveling alone in another country and understandably so. I am a little terrified myself. So maybe I’m writing this as much for me as I am for all of you. Here are some things about my trip you should know.

• Chelem is a very small, very quiet town; no tourist traps or hustlers. It’s actually increasing in popularity among expats.
• My AirBNB has a security system.
• Tim and I stayed in this house for a week in July to make sure it would be safe for me to stay there alone, and we had no concerns.
• I am a one mile walk from restaurants.
• There is a shuttle from Chelem to Progresso for 2 pesos a person. Progresso is 10 miles away from Chelem, where there are supermarkets and more restaurants.
• My AirBNB host has arranged for a driver to pick me up at the airport in Merida (which is about 30 miles from Chelem) AND this driver will take me to a supermarket to pick up groceries before driving me to the AirBNB. 
• Tim is hoping to join me for a few days in late January/early February.
• My español is…decent enough…I hope…

In Miami, I maintained radio silence for the 6 weeks I was there (meaning no posts on social media). In Mexico, I’m thinking I may post a weekly update so no one worries whether or not I’m still alive out there. It is not lost on me how fortunate I am to have this opportunity. I will do my best to appreciate and savor every minute. May your 2021 be a helluva lot better that this hot dumpster fire mess that was 2020.

50 Before 50 Progress Report: Learning

I just celebrated my 46th birthday. A few months ago, I created a 50 Before 50 challenge to make the 50 months leading up to my 50th birthday more interesting. Goals fell into 5 categories: learning, giving, fun, investing, and self-improvement. I’m 2 months into the challenge. Progress has been a bit slower than I’d planned, but at least there is progress to report. To save you from a lengthy post, I will give you updates one category at a time. Here are my learning goals: 

1. 50 songs on piano

2. 50 skills or facts about a subject I know little about

3. 50 minutes a week learning Spanish

4. 50 podcasts

5. 50 card games

6. 50 ways/languages to say I Love You

7. 50 things to make instead of buy

50 songs on piano: 1/50

I’m not doing so great with the piano. I don’t like practicing in front of people, and the keyboard is in the living room. There’s always people around. But soon, our downstairs reno will be complete and Reagan will use one of those bedrooms when she’s home from school. Her old bedroom can become an office/craft/music room. I started taking some lessons online, but found that I knew a lot of the basics and theory already. I’ve decided to just jump in and start learning one piece of music at a time. I have picked up a short little song. It’s a few simple bars that are repeated about 50 times. I’ll post a video. 

50 skills or facts about a subject I know little about: 1/50

I love yearly planners. I also love making lists and journaling. But it’s hard to find a perfect all-in-one book. Bullet journaling has intrigued me for a couple of years. It looks fun, but popular Instagram accounts and Pinterest boards are so intricate, decorative, and flawless, they make BuJo seem too complicated. I like to draw, but I am no artist by ANY stretch of the imagination. I found some bullet journaling classes on SkillShare, and I’ve watched a lot of videos. I’ve learned that bullet journaling can be as basic or fancy as you want it to be. I started a bullet journal in July, and I’m having fun with it. By keeping my design simple on most pages, I can spend a little more time dressing up a handful of pages, like calendars or monthly title pages. This book for July-December 2020 is my practice journal. I can play around with a few different styles until I find one that works best for me.

50 minutes a week learning Spanish: Crushing it, yet still feel dumb

As you may know, I have another winter sabbatical planned for January and February 2021, this time in Mexico. I took 2 years of Spanish in high school, but that was a million years ago. After a scouting trip to Mexico in July to check out the tiny town and the beach house I’ll be living in for 2 months, I realized I needed to get serious about improving my Spanish. I started using the Dulingo app in July, and I’ve got an 80 day streak of daily lessons. Although the sabbatical in Mexico is my main motivation, I have another major reason to learn the language. Bates has 4 staffers from Mexico. A couple of these guys (Pedro and Abelardo) were there long before I came on the scene. Oscar was hired about 3 years ago, and his wife Laura joined my greenhouse crew this spring. While the guys know enough to get by, Laura doesn’t speak English. The other app that has proven MOST helpful to me is SpanishDict. I use it throughout the work day to type in what I want to say to Laura and get the Spanish translation. After about 6 months of working together, our communication has improved. It’s mostly a combo of charades, me consulting the app, patience and profuse apology on both our parts, shrugging, and laughter. Laura knows I’m trying to learn the language, so she will occasionally offer me the Spanish term for certain plants or things she’s doing. We recently figured out both of our birthdays are in September, and we somehow managed an exchange about what kind of cake and gifts we like: chocolate cake and flowers for me and tres leche cake and perfume for Laura. Last Monday was my birthday and my day off. When I got back to work the next day, Laura gave me yellow roses and a cake. I’ve worked with Pedro and Abelardo since I first started at Bates 6 years ago. I’m ashamed and embarrassed that I haven’t made more of an effort before now to communicate with them in español. Working with Laura every day has helped me with my conversational skills in Spanish more than any app could. We’re fortunate to call each other amigas.

50 podcasts: 6/50

Good Christian Fun- I listened to this a lot last year, but with so many episodes (150), I got a little overwhelmed. I recently picked it back up. This podcast is all about analyzing Christian pop culture. There are 2 hosts and a different guest every week. Some of these guests are self-proclaimed Christians, many are not. If you are easily offended, this is NOT for you. They poke a lot of fun at Christian music, movies, and kids videos, but there’s also deep and honest discussions about faith and deconstruction.

Oh, Hello the P’dcast- I’m a big John Mulaney fan. When I heard he was involved in a podcast, I was instantly on board. He’s teamed up with Nick Kroll, and they play fictional characters “investigating” a crime. It’s weird and goofy, but fun.

The Daily- In an effort to become more knowledgable about politics and current events, I started listening to this podcast from The New York Times. Every day, there’s a deep-dive about a story in the news, as well as a brief summary of top headlines. 

The Dream (season 1)- Investigative reporting on Multi Level Marketing, particularly why so many women are attracted to MLM. I enjoyed this.

Dolly Parton’s America- I’ve never claimed to be a Dolly fan…until now. She is a freakin delight. 

Dissect (season 7)- I’ve listened to  seasons 1, 2, 5, and 6. Season 7 just started a couple weeks ago. Each season analyzes an album track by track. This season looks at Childish Gambino’s Because The Internet. Dissect satisfies my inner music geek. 

50 card games: 0

I’ve got some work to do. Maybe I need to spend some time with my college girl and her friends.

50 ways/languages to say I Love You: 1/50

Te amo is I love you in Spanish.

50 things to make instead of buy: 2/50

Several weeks ago, we ended up with a surplus of peaches. Normally when I make cobbler, I use canned fillings. But with the extra peaches on hand, I decided to make my own. I was not disappointed. The second thing I made was granola. I have a tiny addiction to granola. Cascadian Farms makes a lemon blueberry variety that I LOVE. But for whatever reason, it has become impossible to find in stores. Ordering it on Amazon costs about $10 a bag. I set out on a quest to make my own. I found a recipe for this and several other varieties of granola on Pinterest. Then I went to Sprouts and spent WAY more than $10 on ingredients (I told myself this would make several batches of granola, so the cost would even out in the end. So far, I’ve only made one batch.) I was only marginally pleased with my end result. I think the recipe needs some tweaking to taste more like the CF brand.

This wasn’t supposed to be lengthy, but oh well. I’ll write about my other goals in the coming weeks.

The Dog Days of Summer

August is not my favorite. At work, I find myself having to search for things to do, and this makes the HOT workday crawl. All of our summertime projects in the greenhouse have been completed. Plants have been cleaned up and fertilized. Summer annuals have come and mostly gone and it’s a little too soon for a full truckload of fall annuals. At home, I have more time to work in my yard, but it’s hot as Hades outside. 

Since the pandemic began, I’ve had little to no motivation to get any writing done. I’ve been in a bit of a funk lately, discouraged by the lack of progress on my book. When Tim and I talked about this over dinner last weekend, he assured me that I had plenty of material, probably more than I thought I had. I’ve spent the last several days doing a closer analysis of everything I’ve written, even mining through old blog posts for anything useful. I found lots of stuff I’d forgotten about, including the “novel” I’d started for NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) about 7 years ago. I did a word count on all of this material and was stunned at the number staring back at me. 

There are still a few stories to tell and others I need to wrap up, but this word count is very encouraging. I even submitted to a couple of literary journals and an essay competition last week, something I haven’t done in months. I received some pretty nasty criticism of the last essay I published, and even though I know the opinion of this one single person is total BS, that email did plant a little seed of doubt within me. I’m angry with myself for allowing them to rent space in my head again. There are several people in my life that truly matter to me, so I’m trying to focus on their voices. I’m toying with the idea of starting a GoFundMe campaign sometime in the next 6 months to help with book publication costs. I’m just not sure it’s appropriate when there are so many worthy causes that need funding. The jury’s still out on this idea. 

While I don’t like the funk I’m in, I do appreciate the perspective it has brought me. I’m reminded that the only deadlines I have for this book are ones I impose upon myself. I’m competing against no one. I can’t please everyone so I need to stop trying to please anyone. The dog days of summer won’t last forever. Pumpkin spice everything is coming.

50 Before 50

The countdown to 50 starts tomorrow! Well, it started the day I was born, but you know what I mean. Since this is a lengthy list, I won’t bore you by going into detail on every single goal. But I plan to give updates on my progress, and I’ll take time to focus on one or two goals in those posts. I’ve broken this list down into five categories: Learning, Giving, Fun, Investing, and Self-Improvement. My intention is to do one of every item on the list each month, as opposed to knocking out one goal every month. For example, I won’t spend 50 consecutive days tech-free, but maybe just one day every month. Obviously I won’t be drinking 50 different bottles of wine in one month, but one bottle a month for 50 months is doable. So without further ado, here’s my list. I have 50 months/217 weeks/1522 days to complete it or at least come close. 

Learning

1. 50 songs on piano

2. 50 skills or facts about a subject I know little about

3. 50 minutes a week learning Spanish

4. 50 podcasts

5. 50 card games

6. 50 ways/languages to say I Love You

7. 50 things to make instead of buy

Giving

1. $50 a month to one of 50 different charities

2. 50 hours volunteering 

3. Send 50 notes of encouragement

4. 50 random acts of kindness

5. Tip 50% 

6. 50 compliments

7. 50 positive Yelp reviews

8. 50 bags of food to donate

9. Give up 50 things

Fun

1. Read 50 new authors

2. Watch at least one season of 50 different TV shows 

3. 50 movies; 1 from every year of my life

4. 50 new musical artists

5. Try 50 new-to-me foods

6. 50 new restaurants

7. 50 different bottles of wine

8. 50 things I’m “too old” to do

9. 50 things I’ve always wanted to do

10. 50 new playlists

11. Make a list of 50 vacations I want to take or places I want to visit AFTER age 50

12. Laugh at least once every day

13. Celebrate 50 National _________ Days

Investing (this includes time spent working on relationships)

1. Invest $50 a month

2. 50 submissions to literary journals or contests

3. Save $50 a week for 50th birthday trip

4. Sign 50 petitions/emails

5. Complete 50 2-page spreads in the kids' scrapbooks

6. 50 1-on-1 outings with Reagan

7. 50 1-on-1 outings with Pierce

8. 50 social gatherings with friends

9. 50 different dates with Tim

10. Monthly emails to my MIL

Self Improvement 

1. 50 pull-ups 

2. Write 50 stories about my life

3. 50 selfies or photos taken of me

4. 50 days tech-free

5. 50 things that scare me

6. Journal everyday 

7. Walk 50,000 steps a week

8. 50 squats, sit-ups, or push-ups daily

9. 50 hikes

10. List 50 places I've been

11. 50 creative writing prompts