April is Autism Awareness Month. It also happens to be the month in which our son, Pierce, celebrates his birthday. In less than two weeks, my boy will be (gulp)...a teenager. I can hardly believe it, though he's had acne and a mustache for months now.
Last week, Tim and I went to a meeting for parents of children that would be entering the 7th grade in the fall to learn about the church's youth group. As most parents would, I had some mixed emotions about being there. The youth program at our church is fantastic. Pierce is going to be surrounded by great kids and Godly adults during his teen years. However, I got a little sad when the youth minister began to talk about one of this group's main goals: To help our teens become mature disciples of Christ. This, for us, just isn't going to become a reality. I began to think about a parenting class that Tim and I attended at our former church some years ago. Parents of a child with Asperger's Syndrome made a guest appearance one week. Their son was a teenager, and they talked about some of the struggles they'd had as parents. When they asked for questions at the end of class, I raised my hand. I tearfully asked if their son had been baptized, and if he understood what it was all about. I should probably first give you a little background to explain why I asked this question. You see, I grew up in a Church Of Christ. There is a very strong belief that baptism is THE act that saves your soul. If you want to start a debate in the CofC, just pose this scenario: A man/woman makes the decision to accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. They get in the car and head to the church where they will be baptized. However, on their way to the church building, they are killed in a horrible car accident. Will this person enter into Heaven, or be turned away at the pearly gates?
Pierce is nearly 13-years-old, and he still LOVES Veggie Tales, Blue's Clues, Dora The Explorer, and other such shows aimed at preschoolers. Honestly, he is obsessed with quoting lines from these shows. I won't lie; some days, it drives me absolutely CRAZY. I want him to love shows that a normal 13-year-old would watch. I want him to talk about cars and video games and other such stuff. I also want him to keep up with his peers at church and one day become a "mature disciple of Christ". One Sunday morning, when I was struggling to keep Pierce from talking out loud about Blue's Clues, I got a smack in the face. The sermon that day was, "Blessed Are The Pure In Heart". At one point, our minister started giving examples of kids with special needs and their innocent hearts and minds. I began to cry. Here I was, wanting my kid to be a normal teenager, when Jesus was looking into my child's heart and saying, "THIS is what I want!".
The answer those parents in that class years ago gave me was this: Yes, their child had been baptized, because he wanted to be. They didn't know if he fully understood Christ's sacrifice, but they believed he loved the Lord with all of his heart. It is not my intention today to debate baptism's role in a person's salvation. It is such a slippery slope, and I don't want to trip and roll all the way down. I'm simply telling you the thoughts that I've personally wrestled with. I did my time worrying about Pierce's soul. It's going to be so hard to see all of his friends mature and accept Christ, and I don't know if Pierce will ever "get" Christianity. But, if he never comes to us and asks to be dunked in a tub of water, I will not mourn. His heart is pure, which is just the way Jesus wants it. And if it's good enough for Jesus, then it's good enough for me.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
I'm Not Who I Was
A week or two ago, I got an email notifying me that I'd been added to a new group on Facebook. It was a group for my high school graduating class of 1992. It seems it's time to start planning our 20th reunion. I have to be honest and say that the very thought of my upcoming reunion fills my heart with fear and dread. I'm sure I'm not the first, and I won't be the last to feel that way. I didn't go to my 10th reunion, but it wasn't because I had aged or put on weight. I didn't attend my 10th and don't want to go back for my 20th, because I don't like being reminded of the person I used to be.
There's a quote from the movie Hope Floats that has always stuck with me. It's at the very end; the little girl in the movie begins to narrate, then her mom takes over: "My dad says that childhood is the happiest time of my life. But, I think he's wrong. I think my mom's right. She says...Childhood is what you spend the rest of your life trying to overcome. ...Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most". I've heard some people describe their youth as fun and carefree. For me, my teenage years were the most stressful of my entire life. Us grownups may look at our youth now and call their teen angst silly and trivial, but I'm here to tell you that I thought my drama was rather serious. I was never a very confident child, but in my teens I was plagued with a nearly crippling lack of self confidence. I was (and still am) a very introverted and shy person. I had people tell me that they tried to say "hello" to me in the halls, but I never heard them because I was looking at the floor and moving as quickly as I could to get to my next class. I didn't want to be in the hall any longer than I had to be. I had friends, great ones in fact, but I always felt awkward in social situations. I was ridiculously skinny, my body had no shape, my hair was thick and frizzy, and I had (have) a big, ugly nose. I did have some fun times. I loved music (it was the one thing I thought I was good at), so I was a band nerd. That certainly didn't help me win any popularity contests, though. Every August, I thought, "This is my year". The boys are going to notice me, and I might actually have a boyfriend. The popular kids won't treat me like a geek. Alas, every school year went the same as the one before. I'd fall head over heels in unrequited love with a couple of different guys only to have my heart broken over and over again when I would find out that they had absolutely no interest in me. I would get up the nerve to get involved in social events, only to try too hard and end up feeling like a fool. I hated school from the very first day of first grade. Because I was smart, I got pretty good grades but could've gotten great grades if I had made more of an effort. I was so easily overwhelmed with tests and homework. Honestly, though, I felt like school was a waste of my time. I didn't care about college, and I didn't want a career. Go ahead and call me old-fashioned, but all I really wanted was to fall in love, get married and be a mom. So, those 4 years of high school were pure torture. I was depressed most of the time. The anxiety of dealing with the pressures of school work and the desire to fit in kept me from eating breakfast in the mornings, because my stomach was a bundle of nerves. I also had constant tension headaches. I was a very angry and negative person. I was so jealous of the beautiful people. I had a very bad habit of talking about other people's faults, because, I guess, I thought that would make me look better. I felt that my station in life was unfair. Because of my behavior and the fact that I was very much the introvert and didn't come off as totally friendly, I heard rumors that many people thought I was a snob or a bitch.
There's a quote from the movie Hope Floats that has always stuck with me. It's at the very end; the little girl in the movie begins to narrate, then her mom takes over: "My dad says that childhood is the happiest time of my life. But, I think he's wrong. I think my mom's right. She says...Childhood is what you spend the rest of your life trying to overcome. ...Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most". I've heard some people describe their youth as fun and carefree. For me, my teenage years were the most stressful of my entire life. Us grownups may look at our youth now and call their teen angst silly and trivial, but I'm here to tell you that I thought my drama was rather serious. I was never a very confident child, but in my teens I was plagued with a nearly crippling lack of self confidence. I was (and still am) a very introverted and shy person. I had people tell me that they tried to say "hello" to me in the halls, but I never heard them because I was looking at the floor and moving as quickly as I could to get to my next class. I didn't want to be in the hall any longer than I had to be. I had friends, great ones in fact, but I always felt awkward in social situations. I was ridiculously skinny, my body had no shape, my hair was thick and frizzy, and I had (have) a big, ugly nose. I did have some fun times. I loved music (it was the one thing I thought I was good at), so I was a band nerd. That certainly didn't help me win any popularity contests, though. Every August, I thought, "This is my year". The boys are going to notice me, and I might actually have a boyfriend. The popular kids won't treat me like a geek. Alas, every school year went the same as the one before. I'd fall head over heels in unrequited love with a couple of different guys only to have my heart broken over and over again when I would find out that they had absolutely no interest in me. I would get up the nerve to get involved in social events, only to try too hard and end up feeling like a fool. I hated school from the very first day of first grade. Because I was smart, I got pretty good grades but could've gotten great grades if I had made more of an effort. I was so easily overwhelmed with tests and homework. Honestly, though, I felt like school was a waste of my time. I didn't care about college, and I didn't want a career. Go ahead and call me old-fashioned, but all I really wanted was to fall in love, get married and be a mom. So, those 4 years of high school were pure torture. I was depressed most of the time. The anxiety of dealing with the pressures of school work and the desire to fit in kept me from eating breakfast in the mornings, because my stomach was a bundle of nerves. I also had constant tension headaches. I was a very angry and negative person. I was so jealous of the beautiful people. I had a very bad habit of talking about other people's faults, because, I guess, I thought that would make me look better. I felt that my station in life was unfair. Because of my behavior and the fact that I was very much the introvert and didn't come off as totally friendly, I heard rumors that many people thought I was a snob or a bitch.
Thankfully, God rescued me by sending Tim my way. He was in my Trig class my junior (his senior) year. We knew of each other because we ran in some of the same geeky circles. I took a chance (at my mother's prodding) and asked Tim to the Junior/Senior prom, and he said yes. We dated during that summer, but when he left for college, he suggested we should just be friends. He told me later that it had become very hard to be with someone as negative as I was. I realized that I had to make a change. In my letters to him, I stopped ranting about how much I hated life and tried to focus on the positives. I had loosened up a little at school, too. I was tired of trying so hard to fit in; if it hadn't happened by this my senior year, it wasn't going to happen. I opted for the more alternative, grunge clothing and music, instead of the preppy stuff everyone else was wearing and listening to. I managed to win Tim back. After I attended just one completely miserable year of college, Tim proposed and we made plans to get married that same year. I had a couple of friends try to council me. They told me I would regret dropping out of college and getting married at 19. I even ran into some fellow high school alumni, and when I told them I was getting married, their gaze dropped down to my abdomen. Some people assumed that if I was getting married this young, it must be a shotgun wedding! I don't know why the idea that we could actually be ready to make this commitment was so foreign! May be we were just more mature than others our age, I don't know.
Fast forward nearly 20 years to now. I'm a wife and mom like I always wanted to be. Yes, my life is stressful from time to time with marital and parenting issues. However, you couldn't pay me enough money to go back to high school even for a day. I have NEVER regretted dropping out of college or getting married at such a young age. I'm more comfortable in my own skin than I ever was in my adolescence. I still have my insecurities, but they aren't as crippling as they were years ago. I still feel awkward socially, but I try, and I don't beat myself up (too much, anyway) if I do something stupid. Tim has helped me to overcome so much of the negativity I used to be filled with. I'm a more positive person, for the most part. I understand now that some people just have the personality to be popular and loved more than others, and I shouldn't be envious of that. To those that I talked about in high school, I apologize. To those that thought I wanted nothing to do with you, I'm sorry I made you feel that way. Maybe you will see me at next year's reunion. It's something I will be praying about and psyching myself up for. After all, I have a year to prepare!
There is a song by Brandon Heath that sums things up rather well. I almost feel like he was in my head when he wrote this. I don't feel like I've totally arrived at being the person I want to be, but I'm so much closer than I was 20 years ago.
I'm Not Who I Was
I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
I used to be mad at you
A little on the hurt side too
But I'm not who I was
I found my way around
To forgiving you
Some time ago
But I never got to tell you so
I found us in a photograph
I saw me and I had to laugh
You know, I'm not who I was
You were there, you were right above me
And I wonder if you ever loved me
Just for who I was
When the pain came back again
Like a bitter friend
It was all that I could do
To keep myself from blaming you
I reckon it's a funny thing
I figured out I can sing
Now I'm not who I was
I write about love and such
Maybe 'cause I want it so much
I'm not who I was
I was thinking maybe I
I should let you know
I am not the same
But I never did forget your name
Hello
Well the thing I find most amazing
In amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that's what love is all about
I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
I used to be mad at you
A little on the hurt side too
But I'm not who I was
I found my way around
To forgiving you
Some time ago
But I never got to tell you so
I found us in a photograph
I saw me and I had to laugh
You know, I'm not who I was
You were there, you were right above me
And I wonder if you ever loved me
Just for who I was
When the pain came back again
Like a bitter friend
It was all that I could do
To keep myself from blaming you
I reckon it's a funny thing
I figured out I can sing
Now I'm not who I was
I write about love and such
Maybe 'cause I want it so much
I'm not who I was
I was thinking maybe I
I should let you know
I am not the same
But I never did forget your name
Hello
Well the thing I find most amazing
In amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that's what love is all about
I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
Monday, February 28, 2011
A Penny Saved...
Okay, so here is how I've been doing on my quest to save more money. I waited until today so I could report on January and February. I'll give you the total amount saved for the month, and then give some highlights of my best deals. I'm pretty stinkin' pleased with myself, but I know I have a LOT yet to learn, particularly the whole coupon stacking thing. You old pros out there may not be so impressed.
January Savings: $731.50
The best score was probably our new entertainment center. We went to World Market, because we like their stuff and they were having a 50% off sale on furniture. We found one we really liked, but the only one they had left was the floor model. They offered that one to us at an additional discount. So, the entertainment center that was $249 ended up costing us $90, a savings of $159! My other big money saving deals came from winter clearance sales at several different stores. For $200, I bought a winter wardrobe for both of my kids for next year! That wasn't shopping at Walmart, either. These deals came from Target, Gap, Old Navy, and The Children's Place. Heck, I even found a couple of things at Justice! My favorite find was a girl's fleece top marked down to 91 cents at Target. It had been part of a pajama set, and the pants were missing. I didn't even know it was pjs until I looked at the tag. It can definitely be worn as a cute Christmas shirt! The original retail cost of all of these clothes was over $514! I hadn't quite figured out how to get a lot of free stuff yet, but I did get some shampoo and conditioner free; 3 bottles, and I only paid the 20 cents tax! I'll explain this more in February.
February Savings: $816.27
This is the month that I started to figure out the drugstore game. At CVS and Rite Aid, they have deals every week that earn you cash back; sort of. I like to call it "Monopoly money". You get these vouchers printed off at the bottom of your receipt that you can use like cash towards your next purchase in the store. They can't be used on gift cards (learned that the hard way!), prescriptions, beer, tobacco, lottery tickets or stamps. Once you get a few of these vouchers, you can use them on deals in the store that will earn you MORE vouchers. So, you're getting free stuff with play money! I've become quite addicted to this game. The best tool I've found to help me find these deals and to help me with my coupons is a website called Southern Savers (southernsavers.com). Every week, they post the sales flier for the most common stores in the south, and then within that add, they tell you where to find the coupons you can use on the sale items. It saves me a ton of work! You can even print out a shopping list of the deals you want to purchase to take to the store with you. They give workshops all over the south, and I'd love to go to one the next time there's one in Nashville. Another website I like is Faithful Provisions (faithfulprovisions.com). Since it's based here in Nashville, their sales fliers are a little more accurate for the stores in my area.
I've gotten a number of items free this month. I usually get things that will work out to be free in the end even if it's things that my family won't use for two reasons. One reason is that these items usually earn you more vouchers to use next time, and the other is that I know a few organizations that I can donate them to. For instance, February was the month for free Colgate toothpaste. Tim and I use Crest, while the kids use the kid varieties of Colgate (those weren't on sale). So, I donated it to our Room In The Inn program. Some other items I got free this month from drugstores, grocery stores and other retail stores: candy bars, dish liquid, newspapers, tissues, feminine products, cake mix, deodorant, frozen veggies, 2-liter sodas, ibuprofen, 2 movies, a ladies top, Yankee Candle, and more!
So, friends, let me know your tricks of the trade! Maybe I can post monthly on things I'm learning and my successes and failures. I have other ramblings on life that I'd like to get back to posting as well, so expect a different subject in my next post. Later!
January Savings: $731.50
The best score was probably our new entertainment center. We went to World Market, because we like their stuff and they were having a 50% off sale on furniture. We found one we really liked, but the only one they had left was the floor model. They offered that one to us at an additional discount. So, the entertainment center that was $249 ended up costing us $90, a savings of $159! My other big money saving deals came from winter clearance sales at several different stores. For $200, I bought a winter wardrobe for both of my kids for next year! That wasn't shopping at Walmart, either. These deals came from Target, Gap, Old Navy, and The Children's Place. Heck, I even found a couple of things at Justice! My favorite find was a girl's fleece top marked down to 91 cents at Target. It had been part of a pajama set, and the pants were missing. I didn't even know it was pjs until I looked at the tag. It can definitely be worn as a cute Christmas shirt! The original retail cost of all of these clothes was over $514! I hadn't quite figured out how to get a lot of free stuff yet, but I did get some shampoo and conditioner free; 3 bottles, and I only paid the 20 cents tax! I'll explain this more in February.
February Savings: $816.27
This is the month that I started to figure out the drugstore game. At CVS and Rite Aid, they have deals every week that earn you cash back; sort of. I like to call it "Monopoly money". You get these vouchers printed off at the bottom of your receipt that you can use like cash towards your next purchase in the store. They can't be used on gift cards (learned that the hard way!), prescriptions, beer, tobacco, lottery tickets or stamps. Once you get a few of these vouchers, you can use them on deals in the store that will earn you MORE vouchers. So, you're getting free stuff with play money! I've become quite addicted to this game. The best tool I've found to help me find these deals and to help me with my coupons is a website called Southern Savers (southernsavers.com). Every week, they post the sales flier for the most common stores in the south, and then within that add, they tell you where to find the coupons you can use on the sale items. It saves me a ton of work! You can even print out a shopping list of the deals you want to purchase to take to the store with you. They give workshops all over the south, and I'd love to go to one the next time there's one in Nashville. Another website I like is Faithful Provisions (faithfulprovisions.com). Since it's based here in Nashville, their sales fliers are a little more accurate for the stores in my area.
I've gotten a number of items free this month. I usually get things that will work out to be free in the end even if it's things that my family won't use for two reasons. One reason is that these items usually earn you more vouchers to use next time, and the other is that I know a few organizations that I can donate them to. For instance, February was the month for free Colgate toothpaste. Tim and I use Crest, while the kids use the kid varieties of Colgate (those weren't on sale). So, I donated it to our Room In The Inn program. Some other items I got free this month from drugstores, grocery stores and other retail stores: candy bars, dish liquid, newspapers, tissues, feminine products, cake mix, deodorant, frozen veggies, 2-liter sodas, ibuprofen, 2 movies, a ladies top, Yankee Candle, and more!
So, friends, let me know your tricks of the trade! Maybe I can post monthly on things I'm learning and my successes and failures. I have other ramblings on life that I'd like to get back to posting as well, so expect a different subject in my next post. Later!
Friday, February 4, 2011
The Year Of Living Frugally
Before I get to the topic of my post, let me say, "Happy New Year"! I've obviously been slow to get back into the swing of things. Today marks the end of our first five-day school week since mid-December. To say I am sick of snow (heck; winter in general) is a ridiculous under-statement. So now, back to my original train of thought.
When it comes to shopping and saving money, I am a bit of an enigma. I hate to shop, but I love to save money. I am a bargain hunter, but I have my limits. Walmart can be a great place to find deals, but there are times I'd rather have my fingernails removed than suffer through the experience of shopping there just to save a few bucks. Case in point: One Saturday night, my husband and I had just finished a movie at 11:30, when it occured to me that we didn't have enough milk for breakfast. We have a Super Walmart that recently opened across the street, so I figured I'd just zip in there and pick up a gallon. Yeah. I stood in a line of about 10 people (all with buggies heaping with groceries, not a single one offering to let me go ahead with my ONE item) until after midnight. I vowed to never go there again that late at night. A couple of months later when I was in the same predicament, I went to the corner store and paid five dollars for a gallon of milk just to avoid the frustration that is Walmart.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that if I have to work too hard to save money, it just doesn't seem worth the effort to me. I have tried couponing over the years, but it's never really clicked for me until recently. I do most of my shopping at Aldi. It's a chain of small grocery stores that sell generic brands really cheap. I couldn't see how using coupons on name brand items would save me more money than shopping at Aldi. It certainly seemed less time consuming to just shop there than taking the time to cut and sort coupons. One day, I ran across a website called Southern Savers. I learned that I've been going about this coupon thing all wrong. It wasn't enough to just cut coupons and take them to the store with me. I had to combine the coupons with the weekly sales! Most of you experienced couponers out there are probably smacking your foreheads and shouting a big ol' "DUH!!", but this was quite the revelation for me. It's becoming a fun game for me to see just how much money I can cut off of my grocery bill.
In January, I decided to start keeping a Savings Journal. I know I've missed a receipt or two, but I've done a pretty good job tracking my savings so far. In my next post, I'll let you take a peak. I'll tell you what has worked for me so far, and maybe you more experienced shoppers out there can give me a few pointers. I definitely have much to learn (I'd love to go to one of those Couponing 101 type classes that I've heard about). Maybe this can become a semi-regular topic for the blog.
When it comes to shopping and saving money, I am a bit of an enigma. I hate to shop, but I love to save money. I am a bargain hunter, but I have my limits. Walmart can be a great place to find deals, but there are times I'd rather have my fingernails removed than suffer through the experience of shopping there just to save a few bucks. Case in point: One Saturday night, my husband and I had just finished a movie at 11:30, when it occured to me that we didn't have enough milk for breakfast. We have a Super Walmart that recently opened across the street, so I figured I'd just zip in there and pick up a gallon. Yeah. I stood in a line of about 10 people (all with buggies heaping with groceries, not a single one offering to let me go ahead with my ONE item) until after midnight. I vowed to never go there again that late at night. A couple of months later when I was in the same predicament, I went to the corner store and paid five dollars for a gallon of milk just to avoid the frustration that is Walmart.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that if I have to work too hard to save money, it just doesn't seem worth the effort to me. I have tried couponing over the years, but it's never really clicked for me until recently. I do most of my shopping at Aldi. It's a chain of small grocery stores that sell generic brands really cheap. I couldn't see how using coupons on name brand items would save me more money than shopping at Aldi. It certainly seemed less time consuming to just shop there than taking the time to cut and sort coupons. One day, I ran across a website called Southern Savers. I learned that I've been going about this coupon thing all wrong. It wasn't enough to just cut coupons and take them to the store with me. I had to combine the coupons with the weekly sales! Most of you experienced couponers out there are probably smacking your foreheads and shouting a big ol' "DUH!!", but this was quite the revelation for me. It's becoming a fun game for me to see just how much money I can cut off of my grocery bill.
In January, I decided to start keeping a Savings Journal. I know I've missed a receipt or two, but I've done a pretty good job tracking my savings so far. In my next post, I'll let you take a peak. I'll tell you what has worked for me so far, and maybe you more experienced shoppers out there can give me a few pointers. I definitely have much to learn (I'd love to go to one of those Couponing 101 type classes that I've heard about). Maybe this can become a semi-regular topic for the blog.
Friday, December 17, 2010
A Series of Unfortunate Events
I've had this blog for nearly a year now. When I started, I was full of motivation and ready to make some changes. I've had some personal setbacks throughout the year, as did most of Nashville. Let me tell you, the Noah's Ark jokes got old reeeeeeally quickly. With each speed bump, I managed to recover and try to keep a positive attitude. However, the last few months have been quite a challenge for me. The hits just seem to keep on coming, and I'm ending the year shell-shocked and limping across the 2010 finish line.
In late August/early September, my sister had a health crisis. She's been battling illness for many years since a Lupus diagnosis at the age of 15. I could go into all of the other diagnoses that have stemmed from that, but I'd need several blog posts to accomplish this. Anyway, she developed some internal bleeding that kept her in one hospital or another for a couple of weeks. It was obviously stressful for the whole family. The bleeding stopped somehow, and we never got answers as to why or how it all began. We thought she was on the road to recovery, but just a couple of days ago, she began experiencing numbness and memory loss, which made us suspect some sort of stroke. She is hospitalized once again; I pray she doesn't have to spend her Christmas there.
A couple of weeks after my sister's initial crisis, we experienced the nightmare of Pierce's disappearance (If you haven't read it already, details are in the post "Every Parents Worst Nightmare"). This set us on a journey we weren't ready to take. Realizing he was oblivious to the dangers around him and faced with very low test scores, we came to the realization that Pierce would not be attending college one day; instead, we needed to place him in Life Skills classes that would prepare him to, hopefully, live on his own one day. Just when we thought he understood how dangerous his wandering had been, we had another scary incident in October. He was upset about something at church, and ran out of his Sunday School classroom. After searching for some time, a member of our church pulled up in the parking lot with Pierce in her car. She had seen him in the Chic-Fil-A parking lot down the road from the church, and she coaxed him into her car with candy and toys. Within a couple of days, I got Pierce in to see a Pediatric Neurologist. She started him on anti-anxiety medication. We're still working on getting him on the right dosage. I can't even begin to convey how emotional this has been for our whole family.
Tim's job has been both a blessing and a curse. We're so very thankful that he has found work in our still struggling economy. Construction is an industry that has yet to fully recover here in Nashville. That being said, we've had almost too much work lately. In the meantime, the remodeling we've done on this very old house has begun to fail, and we've been faced with some home repairs of our own. When Tim comes home exhausted from working all day with some very needy clients on the problems with their homes, what do you think is the LAST thing he wants to think about? I'm sure you can imagine what a strain this has been on our home life.
Last week, I went on a field trip with Reagan's chorus. I was gone for all of two hours. When I came home and walked into our living room, I noticed our TV was gone. I walked back into the kitchen and could see into our bonus room. The glass in our back door had been smashed. We'd been robbed. They took computers, wii, xbox, nearly all of the games for both, cable motem and routers, an old video camera, and two pieces of jewelry: a broach belonging to my great-grandmother and Tim's wedding ring. This wasn't our first break-in. Almost five years ago, Reagan and I came home to find a man and his girlfriend ransacking our house. They were never caught. We've made an insurance claim, but there's a $1000 deductible. I wasn't through with our Christmas shopping, and now I have to spend money on replacing stuff these crooks stole. They didn't just take our stuff, though. They dealt me a final, crippling blow to my emotional state so that I'm ready to climb into a hole and hibernate for the remainder of winter. To add insult to injury, we celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary this past Sunday with a fender-bender due to snowy/icy roads. UNCLE!!!
I'm really sorry that the final blog post of the year is so very negative. Quite the contrast to my last post, huh? I figure I'm among friends, though, and if you can't be honest with those you love, then just what kind of friends are they? If I had a message, I guess it would be this: Be kind to everyone you encounter this Christmas season. You have no idea what kind of burdens they are carrying. In the immortal words of Tiny Tim, "God bless us, everyone!" I'm praying for a kinder, gentler 2011. How about you?
In late August/early September, my sister had a health crisis. She's been battling illness for many years since a Lupus diagnosis at the age of 15. I could go into all of the other diagnoses that have stemmed from that, but I'd need several blog posts to accomplish this. Anyway, she developed some internal bleeding that kept her in one hospital or another for a couple of weeks. It was obviously stressful for the whole family. The bleeding stopped somehow, and we never got answers as to why or how it all began. We thought she was on the road to recovery, but just a couple of days ago, she began experiencing numbness and memory loss, which made us suspect some sort of stroke. She is hospitalized once again; I pray she doesn't have to spend her Christmas there.
A couple of weeks after my sister's initial crisis, we experienced the nightmare of Pierce's disappearance (If you haven't read it already, details are in the post "Every Parents Worst Nightmare"). This set us on a journey we weren't ready to take. Realizing he was oblivious to the dangers around him and faced with very low test scores, we came to the realization that Pierce would not be attending college one day; instead, we needed to place him in Life Skills classes that would prepare him to, hopefully, live on his own one day. Just when we thought he understood how dangerous his wandering had been, we had another scary incident in October. He was upset about something at church, and ran out of his Sunday School classroom. After searching for some time, a member of our church pulled up in the parking lot with Pierce in her car. She had seen him in the Chic-Fil-A parking lot down the road from the church, and she coaxed him into her car with candy and toys. Within a couple of days, I got Pierce in to see a Pediatric Neurologist. She started him on anti-anxiety medication. We're still working on getting him on the right dosage. I can't even begin to convey how emotional this has been for our whole family.
Tim's job has been both a blessing and a curse. We're so very thankful that he has found work in our still struggling economy. Construction is an industry that has yet to fully recover here in Nashville. That being said, we've had almost too much work lately. In the meantime, the remodeling we've done on this very old house has begun to fail, and we've been faced with some home repairs of our own. When Tim comes home exhausted from working all day with some very needy clients on the problems with their homes, what do you think is the LAST thing he wants to think about? I'm sure you can imagine what a strain this has been on our home life.
Last week, I went on a field trip with Reagan's chorus. I was gone for all of two hours. When I came home and walked into our living room, I noticed our TV was gone. I walked back into the kitchen and could see into our bonus room. The glass in our back door had been smashed. We'd been robbed. They took computers, wii, xbox, nearly all of the games for both, cable motem and routers, an old video camera, and two pieces of jewelry: a broach belonging to my great-grandmother and Tim's wedding ring. This wasn't our first break-in. Almost five years ago, Reagan and I came home to find a man and his girlfriend ransacking our house. They were never caught. We've made an insurance claim, but there's a $1000 deductible. I wasn't through with our Christmas shopping, and now I have to spend money on replacing stuff these crooks stole. They didn't just take our stuff, though. They dealt me a final, crippling blow to my emotional state so that I'm ready to climb into a hole and hibernate for the remainder of winter. To add insult to injury, we celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary this past Sunday with a fender-bender due to snowy/icy roads. UNCLE!!!
I'm really sorry that the final blog post of the year is so very negative. Quite the contrast to my last post, huh? I figure I'm among friends, though, and if you can't be honest with those you love, then just what kind of friends are they? If I had a message, I guess it would be this: Be kind to everyone you encounter this Christmas season. You have no idea what kind of burdens they are carrying. In the immortal words of Tiny Tim, "God bless us, everyone!" I'm praying for a kinder, gentler 2011. How about you?
Friday, November 19, 2010
My Cup Runneth Over
With Thanksgiving around the corner, I thought it only fitting that I list just a few of the things I'm thankful for. Nearly two years ago (can't believe it's been that long!), Tim lost his job, and I wrote a series of notes on Facebook listing some of my blessings. It was such a comforting exercise; I encourage everyone to do it sometime when you're feeling pessimistic or that life just isn't treating you fairly. Maybe I should make this a regular feature...
1. Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior, and one day, he will take me away from all of the pain in this world and home to his Father.
2. I have a wonderful husband who loves God, me and his children. He loves me more than I deserve, even when I am completely unlovable.
3. I have two great kids. Yes, Pierce's autism is a challenge for us daily, but this kid loves like no other kid I know. Reagan is the happiest, nicest, most compliant child you can imagine. I am so blessed to be their mom.
4. Every day, the four of us are able to get out of bed healthy and happy.
5. We have very little debt. Our mortgage is paid off! My car is too, but now we're looking at a new car, so that's about to change. Oh well, on with the positive stuff!
6. I have parents that love me and punished me when I needed it. They taught me about the love of Jesus. They pray for me, Tim and the kids every day. And, even though they are far away, they are some pretty great grandparents to my two kids!
7. I have a sister that has defied the odds, and continues to fight a critical illness every single day. She enjoys encouraging others, even when she feels she doesn't have anything to give. I love her bunches!
8. I have a fabulous mother-in-law. She lavishes me with praise to the point that I have a hard time believing I'm as great as she thinks I am. She's the reason Tim is as awesome as he is!
9. I have a sister-in-law that is a great inspiration to me. She has overcome adversity and continues to grow into a wonderful person. She's a fantastic mom to my niece, Elise!
10. I have my "hens"; my Steel Magnolias bestest of best friends who would do anything for me and I for them.
11. We are part of a great church. Even more important, we are part of a small group/life group that I love.
12. I have finally found an outlet for my love of singing; a place where I feel somewhat talented and have something to contribute. I love the Metro Nashville Chorus (and my quartet, Simplicity)!
13. I have a roof over my head. Though I have my complaints about the constant projects and repairs that come along with a fixer-upper, my family has a place to call "home". There's air in the summer, heat in the winter, electricity and indoor plumbing. There are so many people that would love to have it as good as my family does.
14. I have never known hunger.
15. All four of us have closets full of clothes.
16. I live in America. We are free to worship whatever god we choose.
17. We have men and women that fight for that and many other freedoms every single day. I don't think we can thank them enough.
18. Pierce has been in school since he was three-years-old, and every year, we've had awesome teachers and educational aides. They genuinely care about my son, and do all that they can to help him. Reagan's had great teachers, too!
19. I'm actually pretty good at growing things.
20. I would not have chosen to be a mom of a special needs child. However, I now have knowledge and insight that I can use to help other families that are walking the same path.
I know I can go on and on, but I want to get this posted, so I'm going to stop here for now. Positivity is not a quality I exude; it takes some work for me. I need to work harder to be thankful all year round and not just because a date on the calendar inspires the country to do so. I hope you will join me. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
The Bucket List
I haven't really had anything thought-provoking to say lately, so I thought I'd write something a little more fun. I have not seen the movie, but it seems "The Bucket List" has inspired a lot of people to make up their own list of things they want to accomplish before they die. I am no exception. The items on my list are in no particular order. I'm just writing them down as I think of them. Some are serious, some silly and frivolous. Maybe one or two of them are pipe dreams. Lots of places I want to see. Here goes!
1. Hear my children accept Jesus Christ as their Savior and watch their father baptize them
2. Watch my daughter get married
3. Hold a grandbaby
4. Celebrate my 50th wedding anniversary
5. Set Pierce up in his own place and help him cash a paycheck
6. See my sister completely healed
7. Have every project in this house DONE
8. Have every square inch of our 4-acres look beautiful and worthy of a garden tour (or wedding)
9. Relearn the piano (I took for 8 years, and can't remember a thing! Tragic, really.)
10. Become a professional photographer
11. Become a Master Gardener
12. Use my love of gardening and photography to start my own business
13. Have all of my pictures in albums, complete with stories and historical family events documented
14. See the Grand Canyon
15. Help decorate a Rose Bowl Parade float
16. Go to Italy
17. See Europe's oldest, most beautiful gardens (like Monet's)
18. Go to Hawaii
19. Have a screened-in porch
20. Have a greenhouse
21. Read all of the literary classics
22. Watch every movie on the American Film Institute Top 100 list
23. Go to Paris in the spring
24. Go to the tulip festival in Amsterdam
25. Go to the National Cherry Blossom Festival in Washington, DC
26. Take a Mediterranean cruise
27. Learn how to ballroom dance
28. Hybridize a plant (probably a sunflower, iris or daylily)
29. Have a house-cleaning robot like Rosie from The Jetsons
30. Know that cancer, diabetes, autism, alzheimer's, lupus and heart disease have been cured
31. Help families with special needs children either by being an Educational Aide in the school system or by being a parent advocate that attends IEP meetings
32. Research my ancestry; find out if there are any long-lost relatives out there
33. Write a barbershop arrangement of a popular song
34. Go to a DCI (Drum Corp International) World Championship Finals competition
35. Take The Sound Of Music tour in Salzburg. I want to spin on the mountain and belt out, "The hills are alive..."
36. See the National Holocaust Museum
37. See the 9/11 memorial in NYC
38. See The Nutcracker in NYC
39. Grow gladiolas as beautiful as my grandmother's
40. Find the fat kid that I teased at the Fast Fare on Reidville Road when I was 12 and beg him to forgive me
41. Attend an opera at the Sydney Opera House
42. Have a painting done of one of my gardens, or learn to do it myself
43. Have my very own waterfall or other similar water feature
44. Make it through my entire life without a cavity. I'd really love to avoid any kind of dental work.
45. Be able to use floo powder or be "beamed up". I hate to fly, and I'm not fond of long car trips, either. That's going to be an obstacle with all of the places I want to see on my list. Hmmm.
46. Go to a showing of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" at the Belcourt Theater
47. Tour Pixar studios
48. Visit all 50 states
49. See the bright lights of Las Vegas
50. Tour a real castle
When I do "kick the bucket", I don't want my pale, worn-out, VERY DEAD body to be displayed for people to walk past and politely admire saying, "She sure does look good, doesn't she?". I want to be cremated, and I want my memorial service to be joyful. I want pictures of me with my family and friends, doing the things I loved. I've been told I have a memorable laugh, so if you can find video or audio of me laughing, that would be lovely. If MNC is still singing "Goodbye, World, Goodbye", I want them there to sing it. Otherwise, use the track on our upcoming CD (shameless plug).
POST SCRIPT: I didn't want to publish this post until I got 50 items on my list, but I've somehow managed to surpass my goal. I'm up to 62 now, so I'm going to see if I can get up to 100! I'll bring you the rest of my list in a future post.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
