The Bucket List

I haven't really had anything thought-provoking to say lately, so I thought I'd write something a little more fun. I have not seen the movie, but it seems "The Bucket List" has inspired a lot of people to make up their own list of things they want to accomplish before they die. I am no exception. The items on my list are in no particular order. I'm just writing them down as I think of them. Some are serious, some silly and frivolous. Maybe one or two of them are pipe dreams. Lots of places I want to see. Here goes!

1. Hear my children accept Jesus Christ as their Savior and watch their father baptize them

2. Watch my daughter get married

3. Hold a grandbaby

4. Celebrate my 50th wedding anniversary

5. Set Pierce up in his own place and help him cash a paycheck

6. See my sister completely healed

7. Have every project in this house DONE

8. Have every square inch of our 4-acres look beautiful and worthy of a garden tour (or wedding)

9. Relearn the piano (I took for 8 years, and can't remember a thing! Tragic, really.)

10. Become a professional photographer

11. Become a Master Gardener

12. Use my love of gardening and photography to start my own business

13. Have all of my pictures in albums, complete with stories and historical family events documented

14. See the Grand Canyon

15. Help decorate a Rose Bowl Parade float

16. Go to Italy

17. See Europe's oldest, most beautiful gardens (like Monet's)

18. Go to Hawaii

19. Have a screened-in porch

20. Have a greenhouse

21. Read all of the literary classics

22. Watch every movie on the American Film Institute Top 100 list

23. Go to Paris in the spring

24. Go to the tulip festival in Amsterdam

25. Go to the National Cherry Blossom Festival in Washington, DC

26. Take a Mediterranean cruise

27. Learn how to ballroom dance

28. Hybridize a plant (probably a sunflower, iris or daylily)

29. Have a house-cleaning robot like Rosie from The Jetsons

30. Know that cancer, diabetes, autism, alzheimer's, lupus and heart disease have been cured

31. Help families with special needs children either by being an Educational Aide in the school system or by being a parent advocate that attends IEP meetings

32. Research my ancestry; find out if there are any long-lost relatives out there

33. Write a barbershop arrangement of a popular song

34. Go to a DCI (Drum Corp International) World Championship Finals competition

35. Take The Sound Of Music tour in Salzburg. I want to spin on the mountain and belt out, "The hills are alive..."

36. See the National Holocaust Museum

37. See the 9/11 memorial in NYC

38. See The Nutcracker in NYC

39. Grow gladiolas as beautiful as my grandmother's

40. Find the fat kid that I teased at the Fast Fare on Reidville Road when I was 12 and beg him to forgive me

41. Attend an opera at the Sydney Opera House

42. Have a painting done of one of my gardens, or learn to do it myself

43. Have my very own waterfall or other similar water feature

44. Make it through my entire life without a cavity. I'd really love to avoid any kind of dental work.

45. Be able to use floo powder or be "beamed up". I hate to fly, and I'm not fond of long car trips, either. That's going to be an obstacle with all of the places I want to see on my list. Hmmm.

46. Go to a showing of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" at the Belcourt Theater

47. Tour Pixar studios

48. Visit all 50 states

49. See the bright lights of Las Vegas

50. Tour a real castle

When I do "kick the bucket", I don't want my pale, worn-out, VERY DEAD body to be displayed for people to walk past and politely admire saying, "She sure does look good, doesn't she?". I want to be cremated, and I want my memorial service to be joyful. I want pictures of me with my family and friends, doing the things I loved. I've been told I have a memorable laugh, so if you can find video or audio of me laughing, that would be lovely. If MNC is still singing "Goodbye, World, Goodbye", I want them there to sing it. Otherwise, use the track on our upcoming CD (shameless plug).

POST SCRIPT: I didn't want to publish this post until I got 50 items on my list, but I've somehow managed to surpass my goal. I'm up to 62 now, so I'm going to see if I can get up to 100! I'll bring you the rest of my list in a future post.

Don't Stand So Close To Me

Personal space is the region surrounding a person which they regard as psychologically their own. If you know me pretty well, you know that I have issues with personal space. Let's just say my "bubble" is bigger than the average person's. Friends have quite a bit of fun teasing me about this quirk of mine. While some think it's funny and just a part of who I am, others are filled with questions. How did I get this way? Was I never hugged as a child? How can I be married (and have produced 2 children) when my need for personal space is so great? Do I have a problem being intimate with my husband? Do I hug my children? Truthfully, I can't answer the "why". For the most part, my parents and sister enjoy hugging. I just remember myself feeling a little prickly and not really wanting to hug a lot. My mom says it started in my teens. I think I began to feel it more when I started having kids. I began to feel like my body wasn't my own any more, and I started to become more protective of it.

An anthropologist by the name of Edward T. Hall coined the term Proxemics in 1966. This is the study of set measurable distances between people as they interact. There are 4 different distances in which to interact: intimate distance, personal distance, social distance, and public distance. I will try to explain these and the way they directly relate to me. Intimate distance is for embracing, touching or whispering. Hall says this circle can be between less than 6in.-18 inches around a person. There are 3 people that I allow into this space on a regular basis: Tim, Pierce and Reagan. I hug and kiss my kids daily. And Tim and I, well, you know... Even with my family though, I have limits. I can't stand when the kids hover around me while I'm sitting on the couch. I can't sleep at night if Tim is touching me. We have a queen-sized bed; I don't think we could fit a king-sized bed into the room or we'd have one. I so love those vacation nights in giant hotel beds; so roomy! When Tim is away from home, I sleep GREAT. One thing I can't quite figure out is my love of massage. A masseuse definitely violates my personal space, but I enjoy that deep pressure that works out all of my neck and shoulder kinks. It does creep me out to feel their hair brush up against me or their breath on my neck. I also enjoy pedicures. Since the nail tech is working on my feet and is nowhere close to my face I'm okay. I don't care for facials or makeovers much. Those people get all up in my grill and make me very uncomfortable.

Personal distance is between 1.5-4 feet around a person. This space is for good friends or family members. I am definitely at the far end of the spectrum. I don't hug my best friends or family members unless I haven't seen them in months. That's just an understanding among us. When my "hens" gather together, I can't stand cramming 3 or 4 of us on a couch. I usually take the big recliner so there are no violations. Same goes for the rest of my family. I feel claustrophobic squished between two people; no matter if you're my mom or some casual acquaintance.

Social Distance is between 4-12 feet. This space is for interaction with acquaintances. Again, my "invisibubble" is a large one. It was pretty well known at the church we attended for several years that I'm not a hugger. So, I didn't have to worry about that much every Sunday. Even in the Sunday School class full of people that I loved, I usually spaced the chairs out a little further so I wouldn't be touching the person next to me. Most times, I put my purse and bible on the empty seat beside me as a buffer. Now, we're at a new church home. Fortunately, I haven't encountered many people that consider hugging an appropriate greeting. The 3-year-olds that I work with lack personal space boundaries, but I think I've handled the stress pretty well so far. The group that has challenged me the most, though, is chorus. These girls LOVE to hug. On the night I was initiated, I was hugged by about 30 women. Lord have mercy! The word has slowly trickled out about my anti-hugging policy, so accommodations have been made. Some give me the fist-bump, some give me the hand-hug that I learned recently. Sometimes, though, I just have to grin and bear it!

Public Distance is between 12-25 feet or more. This space is for interactions with strangers in public places. I can not STAND line-crowders. I should not have to feel your buggy in my back while I'm waiting in line at the register. I tend to avoid crowded places in general. I know I'll save more money at the packed Walmart, but I'd prefer to go to the less-populated Target. I hate full elevators. Thank God I don't live in a huge city where I'd regularly have to use public transportation like a subway. I could see how one would become agoraphobic in New York City. I read recently about Cuddle Parties. Complete strangers getting together to hug and touch each other (non-sexually). Just reading about it gave me the heebie-jeebies! It sounds like my version of Hell, if you ask me.

I know I'm weird. There are others like me. In fact, in my circle of friends and acquaintances, I can think of 3. At the same time, I know there are lots of people out there that crave physical touch. If you REALLY need a hug from me, I will suck it up and oblige. But, will you extend the same courtesy and refrain from touching me unless absolutely necessary? Thanks.

Every Parent's Worst Nightmare

Taken 2 days after the incident. 

You can see the band-aid on his knee due to being tackled to the ground.

By now, most of you that read this blog have heard about the horrifying events of this past weekend. Since it is still dominating my thoughts, of course it is the subject of this week's post. I'm going to retell the story and add in a few of the details I left out when I wrote a note about the incident on Facebook. This is a pretty lengthy post.

On the afternoon of Saturday, September 18th, my son, Pierce, wanted to ride his bike. As you all know, our son is autistic. He normally rides in the driveway or makes laps around the house and yard. We thought he understood that he was not to leave the house. At 4:45pm, my husband, Tim, and I were in the living room while Pierce rode outside. Twenty minutes later, it was time for me to pick up my daughter, Reagan, at a play date. I went outside and didn't see Pierce or his bike. I only felt a very slight panic, because I assumed he was in the yard somewhere playing (we have about 4 acres of property). I ran over to a couple of spots in the yard (swing set, trampoline), but didn't see him. The panic increased slightly. I ran back into the house and told Tim that Pierce wasn't in the driveway or playing in the yard. He figured Pierce was in the yard somewhere, so he told me to go pick Reagan up and he would look for Pierce. On the way, I had my cell phone in my hand. I knew Tim would call me the minute he found Pierce, so I could stop panicking. The phone wasn't ringing. I called his cell; no answer. I got to Kaylee's (Reagan's friend) house. I chatted with her mom, April, while Reagan got her stuff together. I was there about five minutes, when my cell phone finally rang. Relieved, I answered, just sure that Tim had found Pierce and all was well. "Did you find him?", I asked. "NO", was Tim's answer. Tim had gotten in his car and driven around some areas close by, and was coming up empty. Now, I was pretty panicked. I hung up and told Reagan to get in the car: We had to go NOW. I told April that Pierce was missing. She wanted me to keep her posted. We flew home. Reagan was very worried and scared. I told her that we needed to go home to make sure Daddy and Pierce weren't there and to lock up the dog that I was certain Tim had not had time to deal with. Then we would go look for Pierce. I got the dog put in her crate and was running back to the car when Tim drove up without Pierce. It was about 5:35pm. It was time to call 911. Tim left again while I talked to the operator. She asked his age, at which time I told her that Pierce was 12 and autistic. She asked what color shirt he was wearing: orange. She asked what color pants and I started to cry: "I don't know!". When I started crying, Reagan did, too. I knew I had to try to keep it together so that I didn't freak her out even more. I was told the police were on the way. I began calling family and friends and begging them for prayers. My family was frantic. They began posting urgent prayer requests on Facebook. One of my hens said she and her husband were on the way over to help. Tim got back home before the cops arrived...and he still hadn't found Pierce. That's when I really lost it. It took the police about 10 minutes to get here. By that time, it had been one hour since we saw Pierce last. When an officer finally arrived, I gave information while Tim left again. He asked me for a description of Pierce. Reagan had the presence of mind to remember the school ID with Pierce's picture on it hanging by the front door. She gave it to the officer. Another officer arrived. He began searching the property; Reagan looked, too. I could hear information about Pierce being passed along over the police radio. I called April (the mom of Reagan's friend) and told her that Pierce was still missing. She offered to help look, and I asked if I could send Reagan back with her. April arrived, and she asked for a picture of Pierce. I couldn't believe I hadn't been passing those out! I found the stack of pictures from summer camp. I don't know April very well, but I started sobbing and she hugged me and assured me that Pierce would be found. She took Reagan and Kaylee to her mother's house so that she and Kaylee's dad could go out and search. Tim came home again. We needed to call someone from our church, but there was a retreat for our church families going on out at Henry Horton State Park. We didn't know who was there and who was home. A couple from our life group was at the retreat, but we didn't know if they'd have a cell phone signal at the park. Tim looked up some numbers, and I had just entered the number of the couple from life group into my cell phone and pushed send, when the police sergeant called me over, so I hung up. "This is what you've got to do", he says. "We've found your son. He's on the interstate." I began to freak out, but he said, "There's no time to freak out! The police are trying to get traffic stopped, but he's scared and frantic, and we need you out there NOW to calm him down. Get in you car NOW and follow the officer out there!". I went inside and yelled for Tim. We jumped in the car and took off. It was 6:30pm. I don't know why they couldn't just take us out there in a police car. My theory is that they needed Pierce to see my car as a way to help calm him. We very quickly realized that this officer was clueless as to which direction on the interstate he needed to go. We had to make a U-turn. I gagged quite a few times, I really thought I was going to throw up or hyperventilate. My friends called to tell us they had arrived at the house, and we told them what was going on. As we went further down the interstate, Tim and I couldn't believe this was right. Pierce couldn't possibly have gotten this far away from home. We topped a hill and saw a police barricade and a TDOT truck redirecting traffic. There were 2 lanes closed. I could see Pierce's bike propped up against the concrete barrier. Tim told me I needed to calm down before running over there, but the car had barely stopped moving before I jumped out. Pierce was in the back of a squad car, crying. I squatted down beside him and tried to comfort him. I could see a few scrapes, and there were indentations around his wrists where the officers had restrained him. An officer explained to Tim what happened. He was driving northbound on interstate 65 when he spotted Pierce driving his bike in the inside emergency lane (beside the concrete barrier) heading southbound. He stopped to talk to Pierce, but Pierce panicked. He then drove his bike across ALL 3 LANES OF 70 MILE AN HOUR TRAFFIC to the emergency lane on the other side. The cop followed him and tackled him, bike and all. When I heard this, my knees turned to jello, and I had to sit down. After a few minutes, the police decided he was calm enough to walk over to our car. They had a few more questions for us, then we were free to go. Our friends were waiting for us back at the house. Two of my hens had dropped everything to be there for me. They walked over and we had a big group hug. One of my hens had brought her husband to help look, and her 9-year-old daughter, Olivia, to keep Reagan company. Olivia said she really wanted to be there, though, to pray with us.

We are so very thankful to everyone that lifted us up in prayer during that time, and continue to pray for us today. We praise God for a happy ending, when it so very easily could have ended in tragedy. I sobbed through all of the praise music at church the next morning, especially the song "Mighty To Save". We were so freaked out at the idea of Pierce on the interstate, but Tim had a different perspective the next day. At least on the interstate, he was visible. If he had been riding in some random neighborhood, who knows how long it would have taken to find him? He was found one hour before dark. I still have a lot of questions. All I know is how this started and how it ended. I don't know how Pierce got from point A to point B, and he can't tell us. We hope to get the police report soon, but I don't know if any questions will be answered. Pierce is okay today. We've asked him a couple of times where he was trying to go, and he says he doesn't know. Reagan was pretty shaken up, so I asked if she wanted to talk to the school counselor. She did that on Monday. Tim and I are okay most of the time. I think we're still processing. This is a game changer. We have new issues to think about now. I thought the days of Pierce wandering off were behind us. These cases are all too common, but we never thought it would happen to us. I hope and pray none of you ever have to experience the fear that we did.

*UPDATE (9/17/11)--It is one year later. We still have never seen the police report, but I have gotten a little more information about what happened that day. There is an officer assigned to Pierce's school, "Officer Fowler". He's taken quite a liking to Pierce. He told me a few months after this happened that he had been listening to the police radio that day. He heard the description of the missing child, and thought it was awful, then he heard Pierce's name and couldn't believe it! I told him that I'd been wondering if people on the interstate that day had seen him, thought it was strange and called 911. Officer Fowler said that's exactly how the police were able to find him; there were drivers calling 911. Praise God! I wish I knew who these people were so I could thank them in person!!

I'm a bit shaky reading over this again, even though I've told this story numerous times over the last year. The listeners are always shocked, and they usually comment that they can't believe how calm I am telling it. I've had some time to process it, I guess. I never, ever want to feel that panic again.

Melissa's Meals Marathon: Part Two

A few of the dishes on this menu will need no prior preparation. As I said, I use Stouffer's lasagna (the 90 oz. party size). This makes enough to have leftovers the next night. I have 3 in the freezer that I bought on sale, so this gives me 6 meals. The popcorn chicken and biscuits are also prepackaged frozen food. I have 3 meals-worth of this in the freezer. A meal that's not on this menu but I also found on sale is Bertolli's Shrimp Scampi and Linguine. I love to add a couple of tablespoons of lemon juice as it cooks and serve it with some crusty bread. I bought two of those. The turkey on my menu I prefer to cook in the crock pot all day and serve that night. So I have a turkey in my freezer ready to go. Again, this is enough food to have leftovers the next night, so that counts as two meals. I also prefer to cook the 40 Cloves and a Chicken on the day-of, so I have a cut-up chicken (divided into two meals) in the freezer. Finally, one dish on my list I had made earlier in the week and had a lot leftover (Comforting Chicken Noodle Soup). So I divided that into two meals. Before I even start, I have the makings of 17 meals in the freezer!

My marathon actually started on Friday night. I put a pork loin roast (for barbecue) in my crock pot and let it cook overnight. At 7:00 Saturday morning, I drained off all of the fat, shredded the meat and added a bottle of barbecue sauce. It would need to cook for a couple more hours, but one dish was pretty much DONE! This batch of barbecue produced 4 meals. Next, I browned 4 pounds of ground beef for spaghetti and chili. I use half a pound for each meal. I don't make my own spaghetti sauce; I use (GASP!) a jarred variety from Aldi. The Tomato Basil is cheap, easy and tastes great; so sue me! I put 4 half-pounds of beef into 4 sandwich bags. I then put those into a large vacuum sealer bag. When we're having spaghetti, all I have to do is open a jar of sauce and zap that and the meat in the microwave, then cook some pasta. I divide the rest of the meat into 4 bags for chili and add beans, tomatoes and chili powder to each. I'll just thaw this and cook on the stove for dinner one night. Three dishes down, eleven more to go! If you're keeping score, that's 29 meals.

I boil the chicken I will need for Nana's Chicken Casserole and Mexican Casserole. I also boil the macaroni for my macaroni and cheese casserole. While those are cooking, I make cornbread (for the dressing we'll have with the turkey) and baked beans and put those into the oven. I then start the Stewed Beef in my electric skillet. It will need to simmer for a couple of hours. Once the macaroni is done, I start boiling my potatoes for Garlic Mashed Potatoes. I vacuum seal the macaroni and put that and a bag of shredded cheese in the freezer. I tried freezing the assembled casserole last time, and wasn't pleased with the results. So, I'll just put the thawed macaroni and cheeses together, add my eggs and milk and bake it on the day it will be served. I vacuum seal the cornbread. Since I use the broth from my turkey to make the dressing, and I add a couple of boiled eggs (something that does NOT freeze well), that's one dish that I can't make ahead. But, at least the cornbread is baked. I divide the baked beans into 2 meals (we'll have this with Barbecue).

I'm half-way through now, and I'm starting to drag a little. My back and knees are beginning to protest. It's very important to wear good shoes on cooking days. Since this is a "marathon", I wear my running shoes. They don't prevent all of the pain, but it's more manageable than it would be if I were wearing bedroom slippers, flip flops or going barefoot. On we go! With my chicken done, I can now assemble the casseroles. I'll have 4 Nana's Chicken Casseroles, and 2 Mexican Casseroles. The potatoes are done, so I can make the Garlic Mashed Potatoes. I divide this into 4 side dishes for our Italian Meatloaf. Once the Stewed Beef is done and cooled, I divide this up into 3 meals. I now have 38 meals!

I have four dishes left to prepare, and I'm very weary. After about 9 hours, I usually hit a wall. This is the point that I feel I just can't continue and I'm ready to hit the showers. But I know I'm almost done, so I press on. Next up is the Italian Meatloaf. This is a crock pot recipe, so I just mix the ingredients together and form the mixture into a loaf. This gets frozen and vacuum sealed, then I'll cook it the day-of. This will provide about 4 nights of food, because I can freeze slices when it's done to make sandwiches later. I've decided to have breakfast for dinner a couple of nights on this rotation, so I'll cook French Toast. I've never frozen this before, but I read a cooking blog that gave instructions on doing this, so I should have good results. I'll just thaw and reheat in the oven. I made enough for 2 meals. FINALLY, I'm down to the last 2 dishes. These take the longest to prepare, so I saved them for last. They both get cooked in my 12-inch skillet, so I have to make them one at a time. The first one is Chicken in Peanut Sauce. I need to cut my chicken into bite-size pieces then saute`. I have to wash a pound of green beans, trim them and then break into smaller pieces. This dish takes me about an hour to cook. When I'm done, I have 2 meals. Last, but not least, is Chicken Piccata. The reason this one takes so long is because I'm simultaneously making dinner for my children. This dish also gives me 2 meals. My grand total is 48 MEALS IN THE FREEZER!! We only get about 4 or 5 nights a week to have dinner at home because of our busy schedules (church, life group, chorus, dance and the occasional date night or girls night out), so these meals will last us about 3 months.

Yes, it is a LOT of hard work. But, when you look at how much time and money you can save by cooking in bulk, you'll see a huge payoff! I plan to post the other menus and more recipes to the blog from time to time.

Melissa's Meals Marathon: Part One

This weekend I did what I usually refer to as my Once-A-Month Cooking. This term was coined by a couple of ladies that wrote a book on the subject some years ago (see 2/24/10 post). I don't actually do it every month, so I sometimes call it Once-A-Quarter Cooking. I'm not in love with that label, so I've given it one of my own: Melissa's Meals Marathon. Catchy, no? Well, just humor me, then.

A few weeks ago, I spent some time organizing recipes, menus and shopping lists. When I listed all of the different meals I've prepared for my family (that they liked enough to have again), I came up with 45. In a previous post, I said there were 30 that I've successfully frozen. I guess I didn't include those things that I prepare the day of (pot roast, 40 cloves and a chicken, etc.) or prepackaged frozen meals (Stouffer's does an excellent job making lasagna, so I'd just prefer to use theirs instead of going to the trouble of making it from scratch). Our family's schedules are so busy, that one batch of meals usually ends up lasting nearly 3 months. So, I made up 4 different menus to last an entire year. There are about 6 meals that I put on every list because they're the kids (or mine and Tim's) favorites: spaghetti, popcorn chicken and biscuits, lasagna, Nana's chicken casserole, chili, and 40 cloves and a chicken. The remaining 40 meals I divided up into 4 menus; I ended up with 16 meals per menu (and a few side dishes). I then made a shopping list for each menu. Confused yet? The menu for this rotation is:

Spaghetti

Popcorn chicken, biscuits and corn

Lasagna

Nana's Chicken Casserole

Chili

40 Cloves and a Chicken

Turkey, Dressing and Mac and Cheese Casserole

Stewed Beef over Egg Noodles

Comforting Chicken Noodle Soup

Mexican Chicken Casserole

Meatloaf and Garlic Mashed Potatoes

Meatloaf sandwiches

Barbecue and Baked Beans

Chicken in Peanut Sauce over Rice Noodles

Chicken Piccata over Angel Hair Pasta

French Toast

I'll share the other menus and some recipes in future posts. My children will not eat most of the things on this menu. We learned early on with Pierce that food was one of those battles we'd be better off not fighting. By the time Reagan came along, I figured I might as well fix the same stuff for her that I was fixing for her brother. That's how I became a short order cook. Go ahead and criticize if you must. Anyway, the kids will eat spaghetti, popcorn chicken, lasagna, chicken casserole, french toast (well, Reagan will), and turkey, dressing and mac and cheese. I make enough of each dish to get at least 2 (sometimes 3 or 4!) meals. I spent around $260 on all of the groceries (I already had a lot of my staples and didn't need to purchase them this time). After 12 hours of cooking, I had 48 meals in varying stages of completion. Some of those just need to be reheated, some are ready for the crock pot, some I'll pop into the oven. According to my math, that's about $5.42 per meal! In Part Two, I'll take you through a timeline of my cooking marathon.

The Light At The End Of The Tunnel

I'm touched that so many of you have asked when I'm going to get back to blogging, and that you're anxious to hear "the rest of the story". Well, it's been a long time coming, but here it is. I hope I don't disappoint you!

I need to back up a little bit and mention something very important that led us to choose Otter Creek as our new church home. I've said before that several friends that had once attended Antioch C of C (that's Church of Christ for you non-C of C-ers) had made the move to Otter Creek, so it was one of the first churches we chose to visit. We visited there twice before leaving Antioch; in December of 2008, Tim went with the kids while I was out-of-town one Sunday. In January of 2009, our whole family visited together. Before the very first visit, a friend of ours, Jeff, told one of the children's ministers that we were coming and had an autistic son. They were thrilled to have Pierce visit. After our second visit, this children's minister, Janet, flagged Jeff down in the parking lot after church to ask how Pierce (and the rest of the family) felt at OC. She wanted us to feel welcome there, and she wanted to know what she could do to be more accommodating. Jeff gave her our number, and Janet called that week. She asked me the same question. Even if we chose not to return, she wanted to know how she could help other kids like Pierce in the future at Otter Creek. This made a HUGE impression on me and Tim. This proved to us that the children's ministry at Otter Creek was more about "acceptance" than "tolerance", and it was just what we needed to hear.

So, now I'll fast forward to a year later. In January of 2010, Tim had just about had enough of my attitude regarding church. After a couple of heated discussions, Tim sent me an email one day outlining what he saw as our options. 1) I needed to get with the program and find a way to plug in at OC. 2) We needed to visit the church that a couple of my hens attended. 3) We should try a church that we'd visited a couple of times (another church that one of my hens attended). He made it very clear that he loved Otter Creek, but he couldn't stand to see me miserable any more and didn't want me to feel like I was "taking one for the team" by staying there. A week later, Tim and I had breakfast together to discuss these options. I continued to insist that it didn't matter where I was; I was going to be miserable unless a change happened within me. We left without any resolution being made. That afternoon while I was napping on the couch, the phone rang. It was the other children's minister at OC, Melanie. She remembered me asking her at a luncheon for prospective members last summer about whether or not OC had any other kids like Pierce. I had told her that day all about the support ministry I had been involved in at Antioch. Melanie told me that that conversation had been on her mind lately, and she felt as if she needed to do something. She thought that Otter Creek needed to be a place that welcomed ALL children, including those with special needs. She wanted my advice about starting a ministry that would accommodate kids with special needs and asked if there was any possibility I'd be free tomorrow morning to discuss this. I was completely stunned (not to mention a little foggy from my nap), but agreed to meet with her. From that moment, something began to change in me.

The next morning, while I was heading to the church, Tim was typing up his prayer for me and (unbeknownst to me) sending prayer requests to his closest buddies. I had many people petitioning God on my behalf. Before getting out of the car, I spent a minute or two in prayer as well. Melanie and I talked about some of the logistics, but she was certain that this was a ministry Otter Creek needed. She wanted me to help her start it. When I left that meeting, I had chills and even felt a little shaky. I called Tim immediately and asked just what exactly he'd been praying for me, because something was happening! I was so excited, I asked him to meet me for lunch. When I got home later, I found Tim's prayer in my inbox:

God,

I don't exactly know what to say in this prayer. You know the struggles that our family has faced in the last 18 months. We lost a church family, and Melissa especially feels like she has been let down by our brothers and sisters here. And I believe she feels like she let down the people at Antioch that she left behind, especially the families that we were working with in the support group. Lord, I ask for you to heal this wound in our lives. I don't know if my belief is right or not Lord, but I want to believe and to trust that thru this painful time, that you will open opportunities for Melissa to serve you and serve your people...especially children like our own son. I pray that Melissa's talk with Melanie will bear fruit for your kingdom, but I don't pretend to believe that I know how you might bring this about. Help us to put our trust in you, and be willing to use our passions that you have given to us in your service.

Only a couple of months later did I know that he had emailed his friend Jason, the husband of a hen, and asked him to be praying that day. Jason then told his wife, who told a couple of other hens.

Even now, trying to put this into words has been hard to explain. I feel as if a switch within me was flipped that week; that's the only way I know to describe it. I almost heard God's voice say to me, "You are home. This is why I brought you and your family here." Our family placed membership at Otter Creek Church Of Christ on Valentine's Day. Pretty soon, we joined a life group and started making connections. I even stepped out of my box a few months later and in one night volunteered for both the Praise Team and the Vespers chanters. What's that all about?! I can't lie and say I love all of the new-fangled "Praise and Worship" music, but I'm starting to appreciate it for what it is. A couple of months after we placed membership, a new family placed membership; they have a child with Cerebral Palsy. At about the same time, another Otter Creek family was getting a diagnosis of autism for their three-year-old son. I feel blessed to have the opportunity to help these families. I still miss Antioch. I'll never forget the friends we left behind and all of the wonderful blessings we received there. But, the ache in my heart is gone. I finally feel peace and acceptance.

I'll Be Back

The summer has flown by! I can't believe that the first day of school is only a little over two weeks away. I've been chewing on some things, but I haven't found the time to blog. Some of that has to do with the fact that my children have taken over the computer for the summer. My dear, sweet husband got me an iPad, but typing anything longer than a status update on Facebook just isn't very feasible with a touch screen. When I am able to pry the computer away, I can't complete a thought due to the constant interruptions (I'll expand upon those in a bit). So, I'll get into the more thought-provoking subjects in a couple of weeks when I have (slightly) more peace and quiet. In the meantime, here are a few highlights of our summer.

On the very last day of school, I was checking on my vegetable garden when I heard a tiny cry. When I went to investigate, I found a very newborn kitten. He was all alone, dirty and covered with fleas. Now, I am not a cat person. However, I couldn't just leave it to die, so I went into action. I rushed him to a vet where they guessed he was just a few days old. We got some formula and bottles, some basic instructions, and then the vet clinic wished us good luck. We set him up in a box with a heating pad and fed the kitten every three hours. That was nearly nine weeks ago, and Milo is now a playful, happy kitten. We've decided to keep him as a companion to Reagan's cat.

Both kids went to church camp this year, and had a FABULOUS time. A lot of thought was put into ways to accommodate Pierce. There were many staff looking out for him at all times, but the best thing to see was how the other 6th grade boys treated him. When we pulled up at the camp, one boy ran to our car and greeted Pierce. He was in Pierce's cabin, and couldn't wait to show him where they would be staying. I knew he was in great hands. Reagan had a couple of moments of homesickness, but so did her best friend, so she told me that they cried together sometimes, and then they were okay. They can't wait to go back next year!

We've had lots of activities to keep us busy, and Pierce has been a trooper for most of them. We had one incident during one of the free movies. I still don't know what it was that set him off, but he was out of his seat and running out of the auditorium before I could react. I chased him down and reached him just as he was about to burst through an exit and into the parking lot. That's been our only major snafu. He's been repeating things A LOT, so I'm looking forward to getting him back to a consistent school routine with regular speech therapy.

Our last big news of the summer is that we got a puppy! I had been wanting a puppy for quite some time. We had put down our sweet, old Pekingese last fall, and I'd been missing having a dog around. It was probably crazy to do this now in the midst of raising a kitten, but I thought it would be fun to have the two grow up together. She is a mostly black Boston Terrier/Pug mix that we got from a shelter in Kentucky. She's about two months old and very sweet natured. Midnight has her moments of friskiness, but she'd much prefer to lay in your lap and veg. While the potty training and sleepless nights are stressful, I think she makes a great addition to our family.

So that's our summer in a nutshell. Hope yours has been fun and safe. I'm looking forward to getting back to the blog!